The Chat Logs
To fill in the pieces of the Terence “BloodCalibur InfiniteLoaded” Sanchez puzzle, I had some help. Meet Sasha.
Sasha lived with Terence, Shane, and Bianca (Lana) for 2-3 months. They were a part of the circle. December 15th 2017 to Feb or March 2018. Sasha first met Bianca 6 years ago. She was 17 and dated her from 2011 to 2012/13. Sasha says Terence exercised his power and control over herself, Shane and Bianca. Veronica too despite her distance from the group, physically. Sasha says she had Vernonica’s nudes “shoved in my face.” Sasha also says Veronica was called a “stupid bitch” and “dumb bitch” multiple times. Terence allegedly said how he liked “watching Bianca pee” in cases when she was out of the room. But most egregiously, in a shroom-filled/psilocybin high, Terence told Sasha and the gang he wanted to see Veronica get fucked by dogs.
(There are serious allegations made by Terence/Lana against Sasha and that’s addressed on the next page.)
Photo Set 1: Lana and Terence’s relationship revealed.
Date: February 22nd 2018. The following is a conversation between Lana Rain (Bianca) and Terence “EightLoaded” Sanchez. This happened in the middle of Terence’s experimentation period with shrooms. Something that Lana Rain was a participant in.
To verify that these logs are legit, Sasha provided me with a screenshot of Bianca giving these screencaps to Sasha themselves.
Within it, Terence says he’s sad and depressed. He makes it clear this ISN’T because the two of them have tons of people around them these days. “If it was just because other people are always around us now then there’s plenty of easy and simple ways we can still have our togetherness that we always had.”
Terence says Bianca is too detached from him and he feels like she forgets who he is because of that. “I’ve been wanting to make love to you/eat you out but we’ve always been cycling through sickness for the past 3 weeks, mainly waiting for you to fully recover though.” Terence says he wanted to get it on with Bianca because they had the time to now. “More sides of my sexuality has been unlocked, for both of my genders.” The only thing getting in the way as far as other people were concerned was this Jayson fella. Other than that, Terence was eager to get back into “their thing” and have this relationship with Bianca evolve.
Terence says he was in the process of taking pills for “continuing this transition.” His goal was so that he and Bianca could go public with their relationship. That they’d lie and tell everyone they just “started going out.”
“As I unlock more and more of my quantum memories I become more aware of what I am and what I can potentially do. The side effect being that I start to lose portions of my humanity that are obsolete for who I really am and how complete I actually am. Don’t worry, it’s not the style you were worried about like going Dr. Manhattan. It’s a different way. It’s hard to describe in words but it’s like, instead of becoming too transcended and being detached, it’s more like becoming too mentally flexible and powerful that portions of my old self I realize were immature themes to use and I feel detached from my past. Basically too wise is one way of looking at it.”
Terence said things were happening “too fast” and he had a lot of work ahead of him. He demanded everyone else help him out and be more aware/thoughtful of his situation. With regards to Bianca in particular Terence wanted to “go past what we were. And even further beyond that. There’s no limit to how close we can get. I want to always be with and touching you and holding you. I want to hold your hand outside again one day.”
Doubling back around to feeling “pushed away” and “forgotten,” Terence said Bianca was “rejecting his existence” because she said she was afraid of existential crisis she had from taking shrooms. Terence said he was incredibly happy that Bianca had told him that one session had a high that was “really good” for her. But Terence gets extremely frustrated that Bianca had a “bad trip” the next time. “Are you kidding me? It’s almost like you’re always having something to be afraid of or be anxious over no matter the magic and impossibilities that I perform to fix things for you. Look at everything you have, and I made Kira exist. And we gave you Freedom because he want Epyon.”
Full on gibberish.
Terence re-emphasizes that whenever sad songs play, he’s thinking of HER and not Veronica. “Even when her and I were going out and everything was going well, if I seemed so focused then it’s only because I knew what needed to be done. I needed to save her first. But I totally had other plans in the future that I never even vocalized. I didn’t say them because 1) You know that’s now how I make things happen 2) That’s not what you would have wanted to hear at the time.”
Terence said he lied to both her and Veronica. “I fully planned on making it work in a way that you and I still had our damn alone time. I was going to make her damn okay with that and I was going to tell her the lie eventually (the one I told you about when it was just you and me on shrooms right before you had a bad trip and started calling xombeh again).”
Terence confesses his love for Veronica. He says the two of them were “the same soul.” But even so, Terence tells Bianca he wasn’t “IN love with her as much as you think.” That given how he operates he never breaks from his personal protocol. Yet somehow Terence failed in her eyes anyway. Terence said he had his feelings hurt when Bianca said Veronica “ruined Yuri” for her.
“Try to imagine how that must make someone feel if they took it that way while trying to do this transition, on top of the history we had with my transition too, on top of how sad I was in general about taking these pills. It’s just a lot of things combined, like how you react to me, the fact you always have something new to have an existential crisis over despite the miracles like making Kira exist to become a second verifying trajectory outside of me, how you’re always being immature and careless about your health just because you wanna be a puppy dog following him around over unnecessary stuff, while I’m stuck in limbo with a growing REAL existential crisis, having nothing left in this world to pull me back or give me any new answers about why I’m suppose to exist.”
Terence says to Bianca: “I don’t want to exist for the world. I want to exist Just for YOU.”
He just repeats himself for the rest of this exchange. The fact that Terence’s personal happiness depends on whether or not Bianca likes getting high. “You rejected my existence basically, because that’s what your existential crisis was built on. And the first time you were even about to leave and fly out.”
Terence seriously just goes on like this.
“Just think for a second about everything I’ve ever done for you and how everything I do is for you. I build an entire world around you. Even women I like or want to like, or love, I build around you. And that’s just all of the stuff you’re AWARE of. I don’t want credit or a thank you. That’s not my point here. My point is, imagine how it feels to be rejected so many times by you. I’ve always been selfless but with you I’ve learned to be unhealthily selfless and almost never ask for any real thing because I’ve stopped expecting things from the person I love the most in the Multiverse. Someone created this Universe and put me as God in it to be the cause of ripples every cycle, to be the game master of the board, yet I have no place in it, there’s no place to belong to. I’m in constant limbo. I can see myself actually taking the detached mental route into something liek a Dr.Manhattan that you fear if I continue to verify that I have no place other than to be a God. Veronica for December gave me a ground, a chain to attach to this world as I unlocked who I am, because she NEEDED me in a way that I was the only one and only thing she had. I was her world. It kept me human while becoming God. Now, I know you need me, but I don’t feel like you NEED me that way, at least not anymore. And it’s not that I need you or anyone to need me like that, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m just saying because someone did, it kept me grounded. It allowed my upgrade to make me superhuman instead of making me into a god.”
What to take away from all this is that Lana Rain and Terence’s relationship is NOT what has been implied to the public for the last few years.
Photo Set 2: How Lana really felt about Veronica
With the above taken into consideration, we need to then go over how Lana Rain really felt about Veronica. In light of a conversation between her and Sasha. As we established in the first set of photos, there’s more of a relationship going on between Terence and Lana than meets the eye. Bianca tells Sasha there’s a jealousy war going on between her and Terence. “The hilarious part about that is that the reason I like him is because I rebounded cuz Veronica was making me feel like shit,” she tells Sasha. Bianca then reveals that Terence and Veronica had “started having a thing.” She was bothered with that and let Terence know how she felt. But he just got mad at her and would say “leave me and my new gf alone.” Lana says Veronica dumped her because she started liking Terence. He “always was constantly vocalizing to her that he was in love with her when me and her were dating,” Bianca says. It made her feel insecure. Terence justified their actions by saying it was to boost Veronica’s self-esteem. Bianca says both Terence and Veronica seemed to be actively trying to drag her down to feeling like garbage. So she started eyeing this Jayson person, spending time with them instead. Bianca points out how contradictory Terence was in how he felt about Veronica. Nowadays, he was praising her and saying how “Veronica was right” about everything. There’s this fixation on whatever Veronica has to say. But on the other hand, in the past, Bianca says Terence called Veronica “a poison.”
Bianca says she’s repressed the negativity and emotional abuse by Terence. “He’s done it so much that I just blocked it out at this point. Forced myself to stop caring,” she writes. “I still love Terence of course,” Bianca says in a follow-up. Bianca makes it clear that her mood is directly correlated with how Terence is feeling, even though she says “he doesn’t even care about my career anymore.” A problem outlined by her to Sasha is that having other people over (Shane, Sasha, Jayson) seems to upset the “dynamic” of their social lives.
“It wouldn’t matter if it wasn’t for Veronica,” Bianca says. “Veronica basically almost completely erased the positive that Johny has done by giving him another perspective on how he might still be alone,” Bianca told Sasha. Lana wished Terence stopped talking to Veronica completely. “You don’t understand, everything he ever says or does is about her. Like he just keeps talking over and over again about wanting to fuck this or that girl. But it’s like it’s literally only to forget Veronica.”
Sasha told Bianca that she witnessed Terence doing the same thing and it aggravated them.
(I made part of this next quote in bold for emphasis):
“You realize Veronica wasn’t my decision right. It was his, and the only reason I pressed for it was because he kept telling me she was the perfect woman. I was unhappy the entire relationship. But I kept pressing on and on and on for it cuz he literally would push me and blame for me shit. All the while flirting with her because her self-esteem needed it, and expecting me not to get uncomfortable. Like it was fucking ridiculous.”
Let’s revisit the September 2017 ruckus. Where Lana Rain’s relationship was in the center of the camgirl community spotlight. Now you can see the entire thing was a facade. What happened back then was simply another in a long line of manufactured controversies, authored by Terence and Lana. As you can see by Lana’s own writings, the drama was first thing on her mind. She relished the fact that people were paying attention to her so much. Veronica was the last. “And now it gets even better, first they’re mad at my success, now they’re trying to demonize the one thing that I love infinitely more than being Lana Rain: My relationship with the best human being in the world, my gf Veronica. Thank you everyone, first you acknowledge my success, now you acknowledge my love story.”
It certainly makes Lana’s admission of a “mistake” in posting about Veronica on their NSFW Twitter a load of hogwash. If Lana didn’t even like Veronica in the first place, then why brag about it whatsoever? Attention. That’s why these drama posts about Veronica have the theme centered around Lana’s career rather than their relationship in of itself.
Photo Set 3: How Lana covered for Terence’s deeds
July 5th 2018. Veronica confronts Bianca after the fact. “Terence did show your nudes to someone by the way (showed it didnt actually send it via phone or computer), I never tried to tell you that was incorrect.” The argument was that bit of nuance. Terence thinking he could tip-toe around the law if he physically showed the nude images in person, rather than sending them digitally. Veronica takes the stance that Terence was a narcissist for doing that. Bianca believes there’s some other kind of explanation. Bianca uses the rationale that Terence could manipulate ANYONE for nudes, and Veronica thinks it’s cold that she’d just steamroll her respect like that. The debate was over it being an “intelligent conquest” or “stupid spite.” Veronica knew Terence was obsessed with her, but Bianca uses that as a line of reasoning that Veronica is supposed to understand BECAUSE of that.
EDITOR’S NOTE: I AM ADDING IN TERENCE’S RESPONSE TO THIS WHERE HE SAYS THIS WAS ALL A RUSE. TERENCE SAYS LANA DIDN’T KNOW.
“Lana did not cover for me, I was not even there with her until later in their conversation. She didn’t know anything about what I did because I needed everybody to act like they always do for everything to fall into place.”
The conversation I had with Terence is verbatim.
We also have proof that Terence admitted to showing Veronica’s nudes to people. Months earlier there was a chat between Sasha and Terence. March 2018.
This leads us to the end. Sasha explains why they wanted to come forward.
“I want to say I cannot stand what I saw there. I didn’t like seeing someone boss around a group of people whom are very much richer than me yet just as vulnerable. I’ve been wrong and I’ve seen both sides of abuse and I can tell you someone who continues to push their ideology and desire above the Will of others is someone who needs to spoken out upon… at the least. I am not a judge, but I am a flawed human who has tried to be good and knows how power and control can ruin and harm a person. Someone who doesn’t learn from their mistakes upon their own realization of the harm they’ve done is someone who needs to be shown their mistakes if not to them, then the public. I will allow them to be jury, and I trust you and my friends here to help everyone avoid anymore pain out of this deeply troubled individuals lack of understanding of their actions. Its a culmination of many feelings and I am an indecisive, self critical, and very deeply morally driven yet flawed human soul.”
Sasha makes a good summary of what it’s like being in the midst of all this. But what about the rest of us? What do we as outsiders hope to glean from the Terence Sanchez affair?