Everyone Plays Video Games

This is a response to an article by Kirk Hamilton of Kotaku. Today he wrote a brief PSA sort of piece that broadcasts that women play video games. No shit, Sherlock. You can find the reasons for this article sandwiched within his verbose foreplay he carries on for a few paragraphs. A female game journo had some dev ask them if they play video games. Kirk backs that up by linking a piece from 2013 that apparently explored the “creepy side” of E3.

I could spend this piece arguing about that. But that’s already been done to death. Instead I’m just going to take a step back and focus on the big picture.


Howdy. I’m here to state the obvious because some people still haven’t gotten the memo: Everyone plays video games.

I know it’s easy to wrap your mind around (thatĀ  you don’t need to consider your genitals as a factor of entry). Yet here in the year 2017, we still have people hyperfocused on reproductive organs that assume despite the fact that A) video games are amazing and B) video games have been a staple of popular culture since the 1980s, everyone can’t play video games. But they can. And do.

I’m aware many of you are able to think things like this through without difficulty. Good. Stay the course. But you may be surprised at how many people still think COCKS / BALLS and TITTIES / VAGINAS matter when playing video games. Ask any person you know who has played video games in their life if their sexual organs have ever gotten in the way of enjoying a video game. No? That’s what I thought.

People I know with both TESTICLES and BOOBS who work in games or play them on a regular basis have absolutely nothing out of the ordinary happen. A quick survey I just did on my Twitter account confirmed that, yes, playing video games is pretty straightforward. In fact, for people with DICKS and WATERMELONS at game conferences like E3, they often have a pretty kickass day partying it up when it comes to video games. I have to explain this you straight, nevertheless, as it’s the point of this article: Everyone plays video games.

The assumption I’m talking about is only possible if you’ve engineered your way of thinking around human genitals. Unlike most assumptions, this requires some mental gymnastics. So if you’ve ever thought that PENISES or JUGSĀ have an effect on video game enjoyment, take this opportunity to put on a dunce cap and sit your ass in the corner.

If you’re at a party and talking to your mates about video games, and a woman comes up and joins the discussion, do everyone a favor: carry on as normal. The trick is to treat people as people in the first place.

If she says doesn’t play video games, that’s fine. You’re free to keep that conversation as is. They knew what they were walking into in the first place. If she does play video games, chances are it makes fuck all of a difference that they have BREASTS. As long as that chick has hands and eyes, we’re all set. Hell even if they don’t there is still a way for them to have fun with video games.

It’s because video games are for everybody.


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