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Quantum Synchronicity: The Ballad of Terence “BLooDCalibuR” Sanchez

EDITOR’s NOTE: Terence Sanchez is currently undergoing HRT. I MADE SURE TO CLARIFY WITH THEM IF USING THE NAME “Terence Sanchez” is appropriate. They’re fine with that.

What started out as me going through and exploring the laziness of mainstream reporting turned into a rabbit hole that ended up with the piece you’re reading now.

The camgirl community is much more complicated than most of you realize. The purpose of this story is to show you how and why.  

Table of Contents

  1. Introduction
  2. Meet Terence and Lana
  3. 2015 Drama
  4. 2017 Drama
  5. The Drugs
  6. The Chat Logs
  7. Concluding Thoughts
  8. Sasha and Terence Responses

Yes. I asked Terence for their comments before publishing. They gave answers to me, too. As you’ll come to understand, the gravity of this situation more than merits hearing out their side of the story. Lana Rain herself is apparently coming out with a documentary of her soonish, so I’ll update this piece with a link to that when she does.


I thought they were a Yu-Gi-Oh character at first, given how tall their hair was.

But when I found out about their shroom experiments, I realized there was so much more to this than met the eye.


I tried ordering porn once, and only once. It was awful. A few years ago the gaming community had found some solidarity with a porn star named Mercedes Carrera. This was back when GamerGate was in full swing. Mercedes was sympathetic towards the movement’s political aims, and this led to her arranging an adult livestream to raise money for charity.

Me, in my naivety, thought it’d be pragmatic to attend in order to show my support. But little did I realize the barriers in place when attempting to purchase porn. I’m not talking about age barriers. I was over 18. There was no issue there. But my credit card company thought otherwise when they called me saying they saw charges for a porn site show up. 

That’s what happened. My credit card company erred on the side of caution, and they had their fraud team got in touch with me. They saw the charge show up on my account and were concerned I got hacked. In response, I both awkwardly admitted to them that it was actually from me, but that I had also changed my mind and wanted the transaction canceled.

I never touched porn again. At least, not porn porn. The proper and formal type. That incident with my credit card company scared me stiff.

Then I learned of Lana Rain.

A look at a few mainstream media produced documentaries on camgirling give us a superficial understanding of Lana Rain. In NBC’s What’s It Like Being A Cosplay Cam Girl, Lana Rain walks us through the world of camgirling. We learn that camgirls use sites like chaturbate to stream their very adult content. It often involves indulging in the viewers’ “naughty” requests in exchange for “tokens”, a fundamental aspect of camgirling NBC barely addresses.

While Lana Rain’s real name is Bianca Cordisco, this Lana Rain alter-ego cam girl is a representation of who she wants to be. We come to find out that she has an emphasis on the community aspect of the cam girl job.  Lana wants to make her regular (that word is going to be used often in this piece) viewers have a place to go online, on a routine basis. Lana tells NBC that her enthusiasm for cosplaying different anime characters was something that worked out superbly in her cam girl routine. We see the work that Lana puts into making scripts for her videos. She says the viewer base is a mix between people who just want to see porn and others who appreciate Lana on a personal level. In fact, Lana Rain says that this mix of various people that watch her content are what she considers her friends. Then there’s the VICE documentary clip. This one postures Lana as “The Living Hentai” camgirl. It overall takes the cosplay angle more directly. She remarks that her fanbase is different in the fact it consists of more general Anime fans.

Lana believes people in the West take the cosplay thing more seriously. She takes viewers on a tour of her house. From her large filming room and through her closets upon closets of cosplay costumes. It’s here we also learn of her backstory of running away from home at age 18. When Lana started camming, she kept it hidden from her parents. But they grew suspicious of what she was doing in her room. This led to Lana’s mom eventually finding out while Lana was away. There was a heated confrontation when she came back home. Her relationship with her parents was already strained (Lana says in part because of her bi-sexuality) and the camming thing was the finishing blow. Lana’s mother forbade her from continuing.

Lana Rain dances around naked online and people throw money at her. Seems very straightforward.  By July 2015 Lana reached 50,000 Twitter followers. Definitely remarkable. Sometimes she does it when dressing up as an Anime. So what’s the story to this? Just to make this clear, it’ll become obvious that NBC and VICE seemed to put no real effort in understanding what the hell the practical world of cam girls is all about.

Lana’s about me page on her website serves as a solid summary of this information. The public side of her life. Lana says she gets turned on by being watched by complete strangers. But this lifestyle, she says, has allowed her to “discover” herself at a quicker pace than average. Her 18th birthday was November 2nd, 2013. It’s the age where a woman is no longer underage jailbait. Something that got Lana briefly banned by mistake on Chaturbate (not to be confused with the warning she got from them for streaming video games). Born in Quebec, but became a “U.S. Resident” by 2016. Lana took the plunge and moved to Brooklyn (staying at a friend’s apartment while trying to find her own place).

This friend’s name? Was Terence “Eightloaded” Sanchez.

Meet Terence and Lana

Let’s flashback to January 3rd, 2015. Terence donates 102,722 tokens to Lana Rain on Chaturbate. EightLoaded had done this before. To commemorate Lana’s 19th birthday and one full year of camming, he gave a subtantial 12,000 tokens. A few weeks after that, Terence tossed another 60,000 tokens at her.

The whole time Lana is squirming and screeching with glee at Terence for doing this. The chatroom goes wild. They estimate the token to dollar conversion rate makes it roughly a $5000 donation. It breaks the goal for the “anal cumshow (ass 2 mouth)” livestream. 4115 times over. Terence clarifies that only 70,000 of the 102,722 was from him. The rest came from a collection of other people. It was a “good time for the competition,” he wrote. “DONT FORGET TO VOTE FOR HER,” EightLoaded writes later on. It becomes clear that this spectacle was meant to rally votes for Lana in the “Miss MyCamGirl” competition. Again Lana is simply in shock this whole time. She doesn’t know what to say. Terence says “anyway fuck everybody on this site” and leaves for a second, but then comes back and says “JK IM BACK.” He liked to troll. But we can also see that he was one of Lana Rain’s chatroom moderators. She melts in Terence’s hands because of all this. Lana says it’s not about how big the tip was, but that so many people cared enough to donate (despite it mostly being Terence).  The video ends with Lana getting toys for the anal cumshow. She gets up, and you can see her butt as she leaves the camera view.

It turns out that NBC and VICE missed out on a whole other side to this world of camgirls. Something more dark, more wild, and certainly more sinister.

This is Terence. The biography timeline you see in the above picture is something Terence posted themselves on Twitter. They’re very upfront about this sort of thing. We know Terence lives in Brooklyn because he posted the address on his mailHe did this himself. As a means of somehow debunking a myth that Terence and Lana Rain live together. Another time, Terence posted a marriage certificate to debunk the rumor that he’s married to Lana Rain. On August 14th, 2015, Terence was proud to share with everyone that he had $451,066.42 in his bank account. That was just for the hell of it though. Like that time Terence posted his credit score. Grew up in New York, went to school there, had some rough run-ins with the law. In the end he still managed to survive, and is in New York today.

What does Terence do for a job? There’s no way of knowing what that is for sure, formally. He claims to work for himself and have “several pipelines of income.” That he can work 72 hours straight and do nothing for a week. But also that he can work 105 hours and do nothing for a month.  At the time of claiming that, Terence said he was working with an ex of his about their issues in dealing with Exxon Mobil. Also at that time, Terence claimed to be in a polyamorous relationship. Seeing two girls at once and having been together with them for three years and six years.

Other times, Terence has claimed “he used to be “negotiator” and helped some street gang do deals with the CIA,” according to one source I spoke with.

But Terence has no limits when it comes to bragging rights, being proud of his performance while working at a Target store. “He worked at target for a while and he was so annoying they put him in the toiletries dept to sell towels,” said a source.

Two sources can corroborate hearing Terence tell this story too:

“He went into very extreme detail from smuggling gun parts from Vietnam piece by piece so any Federal/Regional authorities couldn’t track him and his collaborators, to giving us a layout plan of the building and how they ran in in a line so each room was cleared before any targets of the engagement could not regroup, and that he left 3 people alive. One he told run and if he gets shot he’s dead. Guy ran in a straight line non zigzag formation and was shot in the leg then he shot him in the dick and let him bleed out, Second guy he challenged to a fight the guy lost, he beheaded him with a Bowie knife he said the blood was more he even imagined from a human decapitation and that he told the guy “don’t die don’t die” in Filipino as he sawed his neck from the bone, the last guy begged for a quick death when he asked “wanna play a game,” Terence shot him.”

Something along those lines is referenced by Terence online.

Does it sound ridiculous? Yes. But moreover, Terence claims and proves to be some kind of international globetrotter. There are pictures here and here of Terence being in the Czech Republic in October 2015. If those don’t appease you, he took snaps of the in-flight movies on the way there, and of a business lounge in Belarus on what I assume was during his return flight.

If all that doesn’t satisfy, Terence tweeted pictures of a trip they took there in June 2018.

Moscow, March 2014. “That moment when you realize your business trip had you travel through Russian militarized zones WITHOUT a VISA,” Terence later tweeted. Could he have been referring to that same trip, or a different one, who knows? He DID say he had friends over in Russia though.

“This was unintentional, but every attorney I have for every aspect of my life is Russian. I always end up being taken care of by Russians for whatever reason,” Terence wrote recently.

Terence’s words are one thing. Like that one time they claimed to have almost gotten raped but beat the two men up. But Terence’s photos/video is another story. Like on November 5th, 2017 when he said he received his “final assignment.” Two hours later we get a video of Terence’s airplane view as a plane is leaving New York City. ” I’m turning off all other devices & unlinking all other profiles (especially friends who haven’t logged out on them) so contact me via PGP,” Terence tweeted.

Dude went dark for the next few days. November 9th he comes back around and posts a video of his airplane’s return flight. Terence doesn’t talk about it much, only to imply it was for his job and say it was a business trip.

When it comes to trying to understand what Terence’s relationship to Lana Rain is, there’s a myriad of answers. Sometimes he’s her escort. But also a close friend and mentor. Also, Terence acts as Lana Rain’s manager. Sometimes these roles mixThe point being, from the public perspective, Terence’s relationship with Lana Rain is occasionally unclear. What isn’t ambiguous is that he has 2.62 TB (yes, terabytes) of Lana Rain on his computer.

Also Terence “EightLoaded” Sanchez and Lana Rain had a cult together.

Terence Sanchez in his infinite wisdom decided to make his Facebook username “BLooDCalibuR.” This identifies him as the person involved in the MyAnimeList group. But we can confirm it directly with this picture of themselves Terence posted under the Bloodcalibur username. Which in retrospect is more simply confirmed by looking at Bloodcalibur’s profile picture. That’s actually Terence. With everything he does, there’s a story and purpose behind it. Overall, Bloodcalibur was a legend to the MAL site. Why that was is because their posting style certainly stood out. His rather unique relationship situation being Terence’s preferred topic of choice. People reacted to that, accordingly. But what matters here is that BloodCalibur loved his women. As far as “biitchstick” being Lana Rain, this certainly looks like her.  They had a former username, so I double checked another post to make sure.  Yup. That’s her. What’s interesting is Lana lists their birth year as 1993 here on MALBut according to their Twitter post mentioned earlier, it’s 1995. The latter appears to be correct, as Lana confirms on a Q&A site called CuriousCat. BloodCalibur and Biitchstick were definitely a pair, too. Lana was “under 20” (and likely under 18) back then, but that’s besides the point.

You’ll be getting more familiar with that as the story goes on.

To get a sense of what it was like back then, I spoke to someone named Lain. Lain had a few exchanges with Terence at some point after 2012, during Lana Rain’s teenage years.  She and Lain were internet friends. Bianca introduced Terence to Lain in the first place.

“She told me that she had met this guy with a 180 IQ and I basically just laughed and asked if she was joking, then I remember explaining to her where the like statistical fringe of the Stanford-Binet scale actually lies because 180 IQ is like a fraction of a fraction of 1% of the population, with Einstein estimated as having a lower IQ for example.”

Bianca was serious. In response, Lain said Bianca had met someone stupid enough to believe an internet IQ test was legit, or an extreme narcissist. The interest died down until the point Bianca began dating Terence head on. Lain encountered him directly and had run-ins via mutual friends. It was during this era he remembers a few “episodes.” Like Terence logging onto Bianca’s computer via Teamviewer in a seemingly random fashion, and striking up a conversation with Lain for the sake of “displaying his intellectual dominance.” He claimed to have the power of prediction, and that he’d be able to anticipate Lain’s words before he said them. Lain at the time thought it was just a funny thing to do, but in retrospect he realizes the subtle emotional manipulation at work.

“I guess he was kind of employing a bit of an emotional manipulation strategy there, where even if he didn’t actually know what I was going to do. If, after the fact of someone taking an action, you just start talking about how typical that action was and you’ve met SO many people who did that in the past? If you aren’t on top of what’s going on it can start to feel like “oh no maybe he’s right” or something.”

Lain learned about Terence’s boxer background, the “harem of girls,” and Terence thinking he had a mastery of Quantum physics. These sorts of things tend to eclipse people’s attention over simpler hobbies like video games.

He’s one hell of an enigma. But I gotta hand it to him, he’s straightforward about his personal motives in life. In one of their website posts, they lay out their belief that honor and integrity are more of a guide than the concepts of morality. Terence says his problem-solving skills aren’t the same as how “normal” people deal with situations. Whenever getting involved in something, he says it’s either to protect the few close friends he has or for personal entertainment.

Here’s a quote worth reading:

“For most of the last 20 years of my thus far 25 years on this Earth, I have almost exclusively surrounded myself with extremely intelligent, powerful, and sometimes dangerous, people. I have toppled dozens. I have seen and experienced first hand the extreme ends of the spectrum of human tendencies. One may as well say that I’ve bore witness to the births and deaths of a thousand suns.

What a card. I recommend following that reading up with Terence’s thoughts on “Red Rooms” and violence, based on his years as a boxer.

It’s hard to sort out which end is what when it comes to the mysterious EightLoaded. But what matters for the sake of this story is that Terence Sanchez is always there in Lana Rain’s shadow throughout her camgirl career. Toss away whatever Terence or Lana describe their relationship is and look at the actions themselves. But moreover, Terence uses Lana Rain as a stepping stone to access the rest of the camgirl community. Take this post on his website for example. Not only does Terence hype up Lana Rain’s success, but he takes the time to praise the person in the number two position as well. That isn’t the only example. In another post, he mentions this camgirl Kati3kat by name when showering people with praise. “You and Lana Rain have represented two entirely different pinnacles of the webcam industry,” Terence says.

But there’s a dark side to this “riding the heels” dynamic. Nobody else is allowed to pursue that strategy on their own accord. In this rant, Terence shames someone named Haley420 for doing a Misty cosplay. He says Haley was “copycatting” Lana and it looked “stupidly shameful.”

The best overall label I can give Terence is being the de facto manager for Lana Rain. In this post that worships the ground Lana Rain walks on, Terence does this in an analytical way that covers ManyVids score statistics and pricing. Something that only a manager would really care about. But of course, this is mixed with Terence’s bizarre personal stake in Lana too. “I’m addicted to watching people evolve. And you’re one of the few people giving me an erection with your constant growth as a human being,” Terence wrote.

I put that quote in bold to emphasize that’s a theme of Terence’s behaviors, as you’ll see throughout this article. Not just that it was utterly bizarre for any human being to say. It’s not the only such occasion where Terence’s obsession with Lana Rain’s camgirl work is demonstrated.  In another situation, Terence writes about how they hawkeyed the final seconds of a ManyVids contest. Lana was slated to be the winner, according to Terence’s margin of error calculations. She was in the #1 spot. But upon reaching zero seconds left in the contest, the person in the #2 place managed to become the #1 victor. Terence spends several paragraphs outlining the possibility of a conspiracy of public pressure on the part of ManyVids.

Terence gets so invested in Lana Rain’s situations that anyone could come to assume that he’s the camgirl here. Let’s look at how that plays out in the drama that Lana Rain gets involved in.

2015 Drama

We turn next to a video titled “The Truth,” uploaded on Lana’s channel in August 2015. EightLoaded did a video too. Uploaded on August 18th, 2015, the same day as Lana’s. It’s 46 minutes long and only plays in the left-ear of (at least my) headphones. Apparently, he waited until her video was up before adding to the pile-on. Whatever tweets were on Terence’s account before this incident, we’ll never know. The earliest available go back to August 13th, 2015. Five days before this video was uploaded.

Lana says a Soundcloud recording that was going around originated after Lana, Terence, and a bunch of other people went to this Korean restaurant and got shitfaced drunk. Lana so much so that she bit her lip. “I have an idea. Let’s tell him you got punched in the face to see what he does,” EightLoaded suggested.

Lana dated someone who for the sake of simplicity we’ll name Guy. Lana and Guy had a bad break-up. More of this is explained in Terence’s video. He schemed with Lana to set things up to Guy to make it look like Lana got punched in the face. Reason being is Terence said Guy couldn’t use “you’re Lana’s friend” as an excuse to avoid confronting Terence. Terence said that’s what the recording is all about. He says it was obvious that in the recording itself “they had an agenda,” and that an idiot wouldn’t realize it was a set-up when they both came in and admitted to the alleged confrontation. His initial reaction was to want to see a picture. Terence says he and Lana let Guy know the truth later that morning. Terence says there are logs proving that. Furthermore, Terence condemns Guy for sleeping on it. Also for claiming to be short on cash for as to why he didn’t fly out immediately to “save” Lana. Then the tipping tokens with weird messages happened. Terence emphasizes this was the first time Guy ever came around to tip.

They staged EightLoaded beating Lana Rain, so this Guy Lana was dating thought Lana’s life was in danger. In the day afterward, she played a League of Legends match with Guy. EightLoaded came in, pretended to instigate, and they both left for two to three minutes. After Lana came back, she told Guy a fight happened. Lana misled Guy via text to let him think “something was up” beforehand. She says she didn’t expect Guy to record everything, but that text is why he did.

Lana Rain lied about getting beaten to prove some other guy was a pathological liar. She said she had an inkling of that after lying about being Master tier on League of Legends, about some million dollar contract, and repeatedly saying he’d do “anything” for Lana. She says Guy shouldn’t have made the recording public. Lana blocked Guy off for harassment. She said she told him things wouldn’t work out relationship-wise because they had “different philosophies,” on top of the fact she felt like she couldn’t trust him and wasn’t looking for a serious relationship. Lana wanted to move on, but Guy didn’t. She says after that the Guy started tipping her tokens and writing creepy notes alongside them. But she didn’t want his money. Lana says it upset him that Lana told him “fuck off I’m not interested.”

Lana says that was the catalyst for Guy contacting this camgirl named Eevee.  Lana said Guy did this because he knows Eight said terrible things about her. But thinks it was hypocritical because Guy agreed with Eight during these conversations.

“THIS WAS ALL AN ACT TO PROVE TO THE GUY that he was full of shit. And it was proven BECAUSE HE SLEPT ON IT LOL,” Lana tweeted.

Here’s that Soundcloud recording.

Lana goes on to address Eevee.  Lana distances herself from her, claiming not to have spoken much to Eevee in the first place. Lana says Eevee’s real intention was “getting back at Eight because he wrote those things about her.” She says she tried getting in touch with Eevee to smooth things out after hearing Guy went to her, but Eevee wasn’t responding to texts (if you look at the texts themselves they aren’t as “smooth” as implied). Lana didn’t understand why Eevee was doing this and said it was “pure evil.” Lana completely contradicts herself in first distancing herself from Eevee, while later saying “we’re friends so you shouldn’t have gone behind my back.”

Eevee made a post about Lana that was apparently provocative enough to warrant a full reply from her. Lana sets out to “debunk” the whole thing and says despite Eevee’s claims to the contrary, that this effort was intended to attack Lana’s career. Much of this also involves Lana’s close friend EightLoaded. She says this drama involving her is to “get back” at him. Lana believes that if Eevee and others genuinely cared about her well-being, they’d have come directly to her about it. Instead, they went to “get information” from someone Lana was speaking with for two months.

What did Eevee say? “that soundcloud is horrendous. im in tears i cant even finish listening to it,” she had tweeted. “Evee, you cant even say that with a straight face. I texted you days ago and you never replied, because you know u lie,” Lana responded.

Lana said Eevee knew the “real story.”

Lana ends her video by talking about a cat, saying Eevee lied about what went on with that. Lana explains EightLoaded’s “help” for Eevee with dealing with her career, and personal issues involved Terence doing a series of “tests” on Eevee. Lana stresses that Eevee agreed to that. A trust test they conducted involved feeding information. So when the group got into a chat about selling out your friend for a million dollars, Eevee claimed she’d never sell EightLoaded out because he “saved her career and life. Terence was skeptical, so he got Lana to do something to Eevee. A task which said she didn’t agree to do but did it anyway because she’s a “loyal friend.” She wrote a text to Eevee (which Lana said in itself was real) about a cat dying. But after the fact, Lana revealed to her that the cat in question was alive. Apparently, Eevee DID post a picture of a dead cat, but that one died after Lana gave it hard food and the cat in question choked on it.

Just to hit this point home. This was an actual “test” that Terence did to someone. The goal of the test was to tell Eevee a cat was dead when it wasn’t. That’s the whole scope of the situation and there wasn’t any win or failing conditions for it. It’s not explained how telling someone a cat died is a test of loyalty.

“Its obvious this is all done because the 3 main members involved have an agenda against me. One is a guy who cant take rejection, and another is a model who got exposed for not telling g/g partners about her STD and the third is a model who became afraid of being exposed for trying to poach my tippers on my own teamspeak,” Lana wrote on Twitter.

The drama was so heated Lana said she was willing to take a polygraph test. Again, this is over a charade where Lana claimed Terence hit her just to see if this guy would follow through on his word and take things to the authorities. But all Lana did was get drunk at a Korean BBQ restaurant and bit her lip. She had nothing urgent to hide but now was ready to get into some drama feud. All EightLoaded was doing, according to Lana, was “protect” her from this person who couldn’t handle rejection. Eevee “disappointed” her. Lana said she got in this mess for her own reasons surrounding “tipper poaching.”

“so you lied about being abused to see if a guy would fight 8? That’s kinda fucked up tbh,” someone tweeted at Lana.

“No, to see if he would come save me lmfao,” Lana replied back. But then she claims she didn’t want any drama.

Let’s take a closer look at Terence’s video specifically. This story as described by Terence is completely glossed over in Lana’s version of events.

Terence says this whole situation is silly but then says everyone knows he’s a Twitter/Chaturbate troll. He says this is a case where Guy can’t “handle his own lies,” going as far as to say this person has been a pathological liar their whole life. At least in the case of Guy trying to join Lana’s group, everything this person has claimed was “debunked.” One of these things was claiming to be Master’s tier at League of Legends. Terence goes through how he broke down Guy’s claim on that front. This included beating him in a 1 vs. 1 match. But Terence brings us back around to the main point. He says his “wife and his girl” raised Lana these past few years before Lana ran away from the mother. Terence said his original purpose was to “protect” Lana but now claims not to be really doing that anymore. In the face of the “creepers and stalkers” of the cam world, he says Lana “grew up in a bubble” and is naive at times. Terence says he’s not here to “cockblock” people from hitting on Lana and is only a “bodyguard” to keep people in line. By that, meaning to stop people from manipulating her. In the case of Guy, Terence approached him after a month of Guy teaching Lana how to play League of Legends. He doubted Guy’s playing techniques, and somehow Terence was able to tell Guy was bullshitting him from that. This got Guy frustrated in the face of trying to impress Lana. He gets mad at Terence, and Terence said he ignored it. It crossed the line when Guy called Terence a “little bitch.” So Terence shows up when Lana and Guy were hanging out. Terence told Lana beforehand that he was coming and she was cool with that. He walks into her place and confronts Guy. Terence said he was seasoned on how the “Tough Guy experience” works since he grew up in Brooklyn. Terence said Guy, a grown man, was scared of the five foot zero inches tall Terence. Terence says Guy turned pale once he saw him. Terence said his  “code of honor” stopped him from beating Guy up for “talking shit” on the internet. This guy’s fear was enough to work with for him. Terence said Guy tried to hide he was scared. But the first time Guy spoke up, Terence said Guy’s voice cracked when saying “did you come here to fight me” to him. Terence said he laughed and “shoved his chest” against Guy. He turned his back to talk to Lana and said to Guy “now’s your chance motherfucker, do something.” Terence said Guy put himself into a situation where he “needed to” fight. Terence said he was giving this guy all the chances in the world to fight him. But Guy backed off once realizing he was Lana’s friend. Terence was mad that “he used the girl as a cop-out.” The guy was trying to be masculine and trying to impress her, Terence says. Terence said Lana explained this to Guy, right in front of him. He got mad at Guy for saying that he was in “30-40 fights” because Guy used an “interval.”

This led Terence to grab Guy’s skull and brought it ALL THE WAY DOWN to his five foot zero inches level, and “ground foreheads” with this dude. “Look me in the eye,” Terence growled at Guy. “Tell me again you’ve been in 30 to 40 fights.”

Terence denies Guy’s claim that Terence put a knife to his throat. What Terence said happened was he got angry because Guy was being “too obedient” whenever Terence was calling out to him. He took his blades out and offered Guy the opportunity to use Terence’s own knives against him. He wanted to see Guy’s reaction. Terence said Guy cried and started apologizing. It proved Guy was a “little bitch” according to Terence.

Then Terence mentions Eevee. He says Guy went to right Eevee minutes after Lana blocked Guy on Twitter. Terence said Guy talked shit about Eevee and called her a “fake.” Terence said he was about to “expose” Eevee for “poaching tippers” from Lana Rain. Terence says there aren’t two sides to that story and that Eevee knows she screwed up. He says since he has such a good repertoire with everyone in Lana’s Teamspeak it was inevitable he was going to find out about all this.

Terence mentions Guy adding GoldenGoddess, but that didn’t make any sense to him besides the fact he took potshots at her on Twitter. But the Ms. B thing made sense because Terence exposed her STD. “You of all people talking about what’s acceptable, are you serious?”

“WHO IS MS. B?” Ms. B is a camgirl mentioned in Lana’s video. She said in her piece there was no reason for her to get involved in the August 2015 drama going on here because, according to Lana, Ms. B admitted to not liking her. Lana says Ms. B gave her ex-boyfriend an STD “out of greed” and was about to give it to Lana’s friend Katie when they were going to do a show together. Like Eevee, Lana said Ms. B “just wanted to get back at Eight.”

Terence posted a video relating to the scandal of Ms. B not telling her sexual partners she had an STD. It’s a video that Ms. B’s ex-husband recorded right after telling Katie about the STD. Terence said Ms. B was “fucking greedy” and didn’t tell Katie about it before a livestream show the two were going to do (you can read more about this drama in one of Terence’s website posts).

Terence says all this shows that the group speaking up had no “credibility” in this situation. Terence said putting up that video was virtuous and that he did it for the ex-husband. To get the “truth” out and “save people.” He calls himself a “necessary evil.” Terence also alleges Ms. B’s new boyfriend had broken up with them after hearing about the kerfuffle.

EightLoaded caused a lot of damage in what he said was a virtuous act. But later on, he’d backtrack and take it downMonths after the damage was done.

Terence said he only did this video of his to help out for Lana. He says he’s here to “make them look bad and ridicule them.”

Let’s explore the depth of this Eevee/Terence feud.

Terence said he helped out Eevee’s career and she wasn’t grateful for that. He tells of how Eevee ran away from an ex-boyfriend and stayed at someone else’s place for a few days. Terence, said Eevee badmouthed this couple to him after the fact and complained about them. He said she needed to get an “ass whooping” from someone to get things out of her system. Terence claimed to be “good to” Eevee and “protected her too” when meeting fans. He said he paid for Eevee’s food, travel, and helped her out with family problems. Terence said he also helped Eevee’s boyfriend find a job, and helped her through mental issues. He said he does everything he can to help out a camgirl’s life, so they look good on camera.

Terence said he was testing Eevee about the “cat thing.” He makes it a point that she consented to this sort of thing.

“I’ve survived 26 years of doing dumb shit when I was a teenager and all the way to now and before that because I do things smart. Whatever fucked up thing I do in life is? I do it smart. I do, I maneuver my way intelligently. You know what I’m saying? Around every situation. I avoid shit like you know going to jail, shit like that,” Terence says about all this drama.

The picture above is from one of the posts on the EightLoaded website, where Terence wrote a hit piece against one of Eevee’s Chaturbate mods. Consider that a preview of what to expect here. I didn’t add the red marker, either. The devil horns over Eevee’s head are Terence’s own additions.

In case I didn’t make that clear. Terence goes to great lengths with mentioning Eevee on this website. I have to point out that it wasn’t the only thing Terence wrote about on his site. There was more discussion about the Ms. B feud as that was unfolding. Sometimes he made fun of feminists. Other times he gave advice on how to be an excellent Chaturbate moderator. Which is ironic since Terence “EightLoaded” Sanchez has had people report him to Chaturbate’s administrative staff for his poor behavior. Then there are the usual one-off shots at randoms that said something terrible on Twitter about Lana Rain (thus, causing EightLoaded to go into protect mode).

When it comes to his Eevee posts, in particular, EightLoaded wasn’t kind. He wrote one of them specifically to give her an “English lesson” and shame her for her college education. Similar sorts of jabs were thrown via Twitter.

What did Eevee have to say? Well, from what we can gather, there’s a full response to Terence from her.

in response to your post on 08/03/15, I acknowledge your right to criticisms and or complaints you have against my business but this is my first and formal request asking that you cease and desist these types of communications. You may pm me or contact me at to discuss issues you may have with me but please refrain from tagging me in posts of this nature in the future. Thank you.

Despite erasing the tweets themselves on their account, Terence’s tweets in this conversation can be found in one of their website’s picture posts detailing the encounter. However, his arrangement of Eevee’s tweets is messy. He circles particular parts of it as somehow “proof” of her “bullshit.” With that in mind, it’s probably easier to just give you the full reply from her.


what would resolve this? A check for your part in helping me? To meet up face to face? I wouldn’t mind apologizing for how things ended up. It wasn’t my intention but I know intentions don’t translate to action and how things have been perceived. If you give me a list of tippers that come in my room that it seems I’ve stolen, I will gladly tell them not to come in my room or return the tokens they gave me. What would it take to resolve this because $$$ isn’t something I care a lot about. I have resources, I chose to do this because it’s fun and as messed up as it is I have wanted to do this since I was younger. Take that as you will, but please let me know how we can fix this. I’ll give you a check, give back tippers, apologize, go back down to 200 viewers. Just tell me what it will take to fix this. I’ll admit I was really caught up with money when I was in school. I falsely thought tips and money meant people liked me I still worry about ppl not tipping me meaning they don’t like me or that I suck. But it’s not about that. It took me being separated from you to realize that and look at my anxious behavior and how toxic it was. I have changed my family knows about this and would welcome me quitting to go back to school which they’d happily pay for again but I want to do this. All you have to do is tell me what will make it right and I’ll do it, as long as it doesn’t harm me.”

Terence says no amount of money can win back their “good graces” for Eevee. He says that it was only through his, Lana’s, and the help of other people that Eevee was able to get their footing in the camgirl community. Then he shows screenshots of what’s implied to be a chat with a lawyer friend of Terence’s who responds to Eevee’s tweets. Following that up, Terence shames Eevee for being poorer than him.


so is saying you’ll pull the bottom brick. look, for the final time, email me if you have further issues but I’m not subjecting myself to this defamation. you’re within your rights to criticize my business but I am asking, for a second time, that you stop making posts of this nature about me.”

Terence mocks and ridicules Eevee for being too dependent on him in the first place. In another post from around this time frame, he regurgitates much of the stuff mentioned already. There’s a reason why this is important. Terence claims to want to help people and raise their careers up, but in cases like Eevee’s, he doesn’t pull any punches for his anger that things didn’t work out.

“I’m not afraid to admit it. I would gladly kill billions of people for a friend, or even just on a whim if it brings me entertainment (and it would). But one thing I would never do, is be dishonorable to those honorable to me,” Terence wrote.

Let’s look past how outrageous that line of thinking is on the surface here. EightLoaded’s mantra is it’s “disrespectful” if he feels those he helps are ungrateful. There’s more to this feud between Eevee and Terence, as you can imagine. In one instance Terence was going after Eevee and her regulars in what he called a “token trading” scheme on Chaturbate. Which he explains takes place to make camgirls look good by propping up their intake. The only reason Terence is able to analyze any of this in the first place is that  he had a programmer make him a rudimentary monitoring program that can detect token transactions. This brings up questions about Terence’s own practices in “token trading” in of itself. If he has this exclusive look into other people’s token trading, it indicates at least a personal vested interest in that practice. But I digress.

Then there was the case of when Eevee posted content given to her from someone who obtained unauthorized access to Lana Rain’s Skype account. Terence said someone accessed both her Skype and GMAIL accounts via a keylogger program. But instead of focusing on the hacker themselves, Terence rails on Eevee for posting screenshots given to her by that person. He lays out the smoking gun of evidence being a phone recording with the hacker in question admitting to giving it to Eevee. Terence goes as far as to threaten a criminal investigation of the matter. But in the screed presented to us in his post, he goes about it in the most roundabout way, using the opportunity as a means of social pressure rather than getting anything substantial done about it.

It was apparently enough of a big deal to Terence to warrant a second post and even a third.  The situation described by him sounds severe and terrible. I’m not implying it’s any other way. But there’s another problem going here. I’ll let Terence himself demonstrate their intentions to dance around with words rather than following through.

(Bold Emphasis added by me):

“I’ll say it again. When you deal with me, you can never know if your move is yours or if it’s exactly what I want you to do. This is how I work, this is how I operate. This is how I stay within the confines of the law. I do the law breaking stuff when I’m dealing with actually dangerous people, you’re a joke I stretched out across a year. I’ll leave you a hint, even though you’re probably too slow to put all the pieces together: The moment you decided to quit basic college to pursue a cam career when I was helping you with camming, is the moment you were caught by design.

Terence just goes on like that for the rest of the post. He believes winning a battle online involves saying more words and acting like he’s the most threatening party.

I just want to hit the point home that Terence, who has said that he’s addicted to helping other camgirls in the community raise their careers up, decided to use that very thing as ammo against Eevee.

I’m saying this directly because Terence demonstrates it in that fashion. In this post on Terence’s site, there’s a list of 27 different things that Terence says he did for Eevee. If you want to know the specifics and particulars of that, EightLoaded is more than happy to provide. It mentions the usual stuff like income and viewership increases. But also very seemingly small and mundane things.

“I offered to cook and make the same exact sandwich you wanted from the Deli, but you insisted that I go outside and buy it for you instead. The next day, when I finally made it by hand for you, you admitted it tasted the same if not better,” Terence wrote.

Of course, Terence also admits to attacking Eevee on Twitter. For whatever his reasons were. For that reason alone we can say Terence harassed Eevee as a statement of fact. But I can show you. Click any of the words in this sentence to see a tweet from Terence, cumulatively coming together as a roughly two-year long campaign to make Eevee feel absolutely miserable.

In summation for this section, I want you to consider the following: notice how a situation that first started off talking about Lana Rain, in the end, becomes all about Terence? It’s that dynamic that I mentioned before starting this section, where EightLoaded intensely attaches himself to her. It’s something that Lana barely even touched on in her own video discussing the drama going on. But if you peel back the wallpaper, it reveals the disgusting grime of the overall situation underneath.

2017 Drama

Meet Veronica. Somebody who has come forward to tell me her story. As someone who was under the age of 18 at the time these events took place, she might be described shorthand as “the minor” at times.

I’ll let her tell you the summary of her story.

“Ok so long story short I dmed Lana first via an q&a website called after seeing an interview from vice on my Facebook timeline and taking a like of her. I wanted to be friends and she accepted, so we started talking on Skype. We started liking each other after talking about nerdy shit like otome games, so we started going out. I started using my empty twitter account to interact with her on social media since twitter is what she uses, and only then I come in contact with her manager InfiniteLoaded and befriend him. His first message though was an upskirt picture of Lana, his jokes always sexual (about her, not me), and he was an overall oddball since the get-go, but I liked him because he seemed smart and straightforward. Terence was like the third wheel of my relationship with Lana, always knew our business and always told us what to do, which eventually drove us to break up. The day I definitely break up with Lana I start getting closer with Terence because at the time I felt like he was the only one who could understand me and give me some comfort, and sometime in November, precisely the day of a surgery I had to undergo, we start going out. Like a DUMBASS I send him nude pictures of myself that he later shows to other people because they were allegedly means to “fix them.” He starts hinting at three-way relationships with Lana, he flies who the fuck knows where for his “job”, lies about his whereabouts, you get the idea. He acts like a trainwreck so eventually I dump him and out of vengeance he badmouths me to his entire group.”

Veronica has told people their story before (and confirmed the authenticity of previous DM screencaps).

But people didn’t know that right off the bat. They just saw Lana Rain dating a girl under the age of 18. While the extent this badmouthing of Veronica went is one of the end results of this, we need to assess how this situation evolved to where it is now.

So when we fast forward a few years, Lana Rain and Terence are in hot water again. The camgirl community was in an uproar, with a few people speaking out about a controversy. For relevant context, Lana had previously gotten in hot water for cosplaying as underage characters. Therefore in response, Terence wasn’t afraid to get confrontational with people in the camgirl community to defend it. In typical Terence fashion, he coupled his defense of “Age play” not being pedophilia in a legal sense with his petty personal remarks calling Lana’s critics envious (or “jealous” as a Terence post in this same period suggests). But I need to make it clear that Terence asserts Lana Rain’s cosplay porn isn’t an act of “Age play” directly because he’s more than happy to threaten to sue people for defamation.

It’s all these elements thrown into the mix together that come out in September 2017, the next big era of drama and controversy for Lana Rain (and therefore Terence “EightLoaded” Sanchez too).

In QueenHayliexo’s video, she lays out the basic premise of her concerns immediately. A popular camgirl (Lana Rain) was involving a minor in the community. In Haylie’s opinion, she believed that anyone under the age of 18 shouldn’t be included in the adult BDSM community whatsoever. It wasn’t just out of concern for the minors themselves. Issues extended to the camgirls themselves, as they could get in trouble for having juveniles hanging around. Haylie says Lana Rain, age 21, was dating a minor who was only 16. She makes it clear that while it’s not against the law to date a 16-year-old it was still frowned upon when the person involved is a sex worker. One who openly allows the various “regular” creeps of the community interaction with the minor. A sex worker can get in trouble for sending a nude to a minor even if the sex worker doesn’t know the person is a minor. Haylie said it was weird for a 21-year-old to say they were on the same level as a 16-year-old. As an aside, she said if Lana were a dude, everyone would’ve called her a rapist for being involved in this situation. Which brought Haylie to her next point of contention. She wanted to call out the people defending and condoning Lana’s behavior. This minor was watching Lana’s porn streams and hanging out in the chatrooms. It’s a violation of website terms of service as well as setting a bad example for the community. Haylie said Lana should’ve been punished for this but got away with it because they’re a top performer on the website.

QueenHayliexo shares tweets from the minor (Veronica):

  1. “don’t say ur body confident if you’ve never came to ur own nudes,” the minor says. “Well…” replies InfiniteLoaded.
  2. “i’ve been taking nudes of myself since i was 12 fucking arrest me lol,” replied Tricky_Nymph.
  3. “Part of our job as sex workers is not intentionally involving minors in this 18+ community. ITS WRONG to send your fans to a minor’s profile,” tweeted QueenHayliexo.
  4. “Shady = thinking it’s okay for minors to take nudes & be involved in an adult community,” Haylie tweeted. “and to top it off, even tho shes into shit worse than me, those 2 don’t even focus on that. It’s just not their mentality rn, absolutely not” InfiniteLoaded replied.

QueenHayliexo says it’s insane that people allege this drama was stirred up to “raise camscore,” and makes it clear her intent was spotlighting this predatory behavior. Clashing with other camgirls ensued. Haylie thought it was contradictory to be accused of “getting attention” and “being shady” at the same time. She brings up InfiniteLoaded being involved in every Lana drama and how strange it was that this dude worshiped Lana Rain “like crazy.” Haylie also makes mention of how “fucked up” it is that Terence knew the minor’s sexual fetishes. To her, this in itself proves that the minor was inappropriately involved in the camgirl community. Plus, Terence tweeted hentai at both the minor and Lana. And Lana replied to it saying it looked like the minor’s expression.

QueenHayliexo re-emphasizes this had nothing to do with Lana with being a top earner on ManyVids. She was concerned about the ripple effect it could have on the camgirl community. To make an analogy, Haylie mentions how Pewdiepie’s controversy with the Wall Street Journal that happened earlier in the year had a long-term impact on YouTuber’s ad revenue. She wasn’t afraid of the legal action threats that Lana was brandying about on Twitter.

WHICH was what Terence decided to lunge about her. “I’m just gonna post this Youtube video here that @queenhayliexo made. This’ll be GOLD for a defamation suit,” Terence tweeted. Stoking the drama flames.

“her YT channel is a blatant display of screaming for attention. Her lack of sincerity & work ethic shows,” Terence said. “Her YT channel is the kind that continues the negative/looked down upon outdated image of sex workers. Brings nothing sincere or innovative.”

“Ur not exactly doing yourself any favors asking for respect in your profession when you have videos about how many people you had sex with,” Lana added.

Attached to that thread, Terence gave a lengthy response to the video. Here it is as written, I recommend reading it. But I understand that Terence comes off as very wordy. Also at times inaccurate. I made it more concise in this pastebin. I had to rewatch the video by Haylie a dozen more times, trying to make sense of what Terence was referring to. None of the timestamps lined up at all, and in the case of the first citation by him, he pulls a quote from Haylie out of thin air. 

The backlash caught the attention of another camgirl who decided to talk about it.

A second video on the situation was made by Indigo White. This was a weeks after QueenHayliexo’s, and more had transpired in the time since then. However, the 35-minute run time is filled with a lot of rambling. Anyway, she names Lana as a prominent camgirl of both ManyVids and MyFreeCams. Indigo gives the summary that Lana is dating a 16-year-old and decided to tell all of her followers about it. Again it’s re-emphasized that while the relationship in itself isn’t illegal, there are illegal things that could take place within said relationship.

Indigo shares screencaps of conversations had on Twitter.

  1. “You said you never heard black people saying an English word other than “bitch”, I can totally see why now. Bitch,” the minor tweeted. “Oh my god I’m cumming. I’m sorry @lana_rain” replied InfiniteLoaded. “xD i saw this reaction CUMMING a mile away the moment I read her sentence. Trust me I know, she’s adorable isn’t she ^_^” replied Lana.
  2. The minor Lana was dating tweeted a link to a medical dictionary about Gout in a trolling attempt about “promoting pedophilia.” To which Lana replied “wtf is wrong with you.” A regular of Lana’s community jumped in the conversation. “Veronica no everyone is going to be on your ass again,” they tweeted.
  3. “let’s be honest, this “you’re sixteen so you cant date a twenty year old” is just a programmed response. it’s something we’ve heard many people advise against, so now you just repeat it back when the appropriate opportunity presents itself. we all actually do this with a whole lot of shit. the average person rly doesn’t have much critical and independent thought,” tweeted the minor in defense of their relationship with Lana. “Myexwas 29 when was 20, no one gave a fuck.It should be just a number.Dude years back 14 years where getting pregnant of our fathers fathers,” one of Lana’s regulars responded.
  4. “Also again!! Just so you all know!! The 16 year old ASKED ME TO DM HER I DID and she told me she is uncomfortable about all of this! She NEVER wanted @lana_rain to make her age public, or even their relationship. Lana started by telling close friends/regs. Lana is a predator,” tweeted LotteOddities.
  5. In a follow-up, LotteOddities said: “but this situation is SO MUCH more complicated- i don’t know that i could confront my abuser on this large of a scale myself. SO i am here if you feel unsafe, if you are scared, if you feel isolated and alone- let me help you. BUT if you continue this bullshit know i fucking offered. i understand. i myself am a victim of child grooming. it was not easy to leave my abuser(s) but i did it.”
  6. “Me running away from the cops with @VeronPan cuz im a child predator on the loose yo,” tweeted Lana.
  7. “What kind of vids would u guys like,” asked Lana. “im actually surprised that so many people want to hear u rant abt something when u usually avoid doing so. VOTE FOR RANT MY NIGGASSSS,” replied the minor. “Honestly wouldn’t have voted rant because of the drama recently. But vlogs were nicer. Have you seen lana angry yet?” tweeted one of Lana’s regulars.
  8. “[A-Tier DIAMOND] “Ann Takamaki: A Look Behind The PERSONA” – my most meticulously designed & constructed video ever,” Lana tweeted, sharing a link to a ManyVids video. “My cum would look cuter on you :)” replied the minor. “Get back on u stupid ho. U know who took a walk so we can cum on each other’s faces all we want,” replied Lana.
  9. “Whenever this gets near my face, I can’t help but want to put my mouth over it…can you imagine? You’re like me right?” Lana wrote, tagging in the minor. “when is it comin out bro,” the minor replied. “when your mouth is open wide and you look convincing enough,” Lana tweeted back.
  10. “Did I mention this vid also features the first time I use this new fuck machine for an extremely rare anal fuck scene? No? Well now you know,” tweeted Lana. “You need jesus,” said the minor. “We both need something, and it’s not jesus,” replied Lana.
  11. “Yeah my butt took quite the beat from several BBCs yesterday. Help me soothe the pain :(” tweeted the minor. “Dude, that image is hot. I’m not even kidding around,” replied Lana.
  12. “@lana_rain and @VeronPan I can’t stress this enough thank you for always being the highlight of my day ❤️ I will always have your guys backs,” tweeted one of Lana’s regulars.
  13. “I overslept bigtime -.- im sorry. I’ll be on as Kanna from Dragon Maid tonight at around my usual time ~11:30pm,” tweeted Lana. “I am definitely going to Jail after watching this,” responded a viewer (Indigo provides context by pointing out this Kanna character is age 8 or 9).
  14. “Then again that still doesn’t change the fact to view pornographic content on the internet you must be eighteen or older,” someone wrote. “Oh so it;s a crime for a minor to view 18+ content?” replied InfiniteLoaded.

Indigo thought Lana’s treatment of race as a subject was “questionable.” Much like Haylie, Indigo points out Lana’s lack of emotional maturity in this whole thing. When it comes to talking about Terence, Indigo describes him as “one of Lana’s main tippers” and in an edit adds that Lana called themselves “IRL friends” with Terence. She points out that Lana and Terence have known each other since Lana was 14. Indigo thought it was pretty bizarre that an adult man (Terence would’ve been 22/23 when he first met Lana) was nowadays watching a girl masturbate on camera. A girl he met when they were a minor.

Indigo was frustrated that it seemed like the minor wasn’t taking the situation with Lana seriously. Sexual assault and grooming is a dangerous thing that screws up the brain. The community was concerned about what was going on here. Addressing the legal aspects of it, Indigo says the whole “Lana lives in New Jersey” element doesn’t matter. That on the internet, soliciting anyone for sex under the age of 18 is illegal. No matter what. Indigo nitpicks every tweet screenshot she shows throughout. She’s willing to give the minor credit for their arguments when it was due. But still maintained an obvious concern about the situation this youngster found themselves in. Indigo saw Lana grooming a minor here.

With the LotteOddities fiasco, it was someone trying to reach out and offer help in case things were south for the minor here. But Lana and her crew started harassing LotteOddities when they found out about it. Indigo said their tactic was Terence and his team swarmed anyone that voiced criticism and concern with Lana related events. Their goal was to get the target to stop talking about it.

Lana’s immature responses to people’s concerns had an impact where the community and ManyVids turned their back on her, says Indigo.

Indigo then talks about a situation where Lana posted “videos of herself fingering herself and masturbating in front of children that were fully in view of the camera, not blurred.” She says Lana put the clip up on ManyVids where it was sold for a long time.

Indigo, as much of a try she was giving it with this video, made a mistake when they wrote: “& no I don’t have screenshots of it but she’s not disputing what’s in the video so yah…” I have to step in here personally and say that Indigo is entirely off the mark with that one. Lana and Terence made several tweets defending themselves in this situation or at least elaborating more on what their mindset was going into filming this thing.



Indigo said the public flashing videos on places like PornHub weren’t real. Bystanders are paid and aware of what’s happening. Otherwise, it would be “highly illegal, gross, and creepy.” Indigo was convinced Terence is an actual child predator given his responses during this September 2017 Lana situation. Indigo had heard that Lana was going to be on NBC and was curious if they’d ask her tough questions about the current controversy she was in.

Indigo responded that if Lana had to schedule a porn shoot around “when school was in session” that the shoot in of itself is just a bad idea in the first place. Beyond that Indigo elaborated that there was a lack of control of who stays and goes through a public place. She was highly skeptical that Lana didn’t look over the footage before uploading it. Indigo brings up a video sold to ManyVids in July 2017 where Lana masturbated in a public street in New York City. It becomes hypocritical when a September 2017 “Slutwalk” ManyVids contest that Lana won is weighed against that. Winners got money and a chance to go to the Slutwalk event itself, but Lana chose just to keep the money and not go.

There was a public protest against ManyVids where folks in the community emailed the site to take Lana’s video down. Some people deleted their accounts in protest. Their initial response, Indigo says, was ManyVids saying “we hear you” but not giving a hoot because the video made them money. Their patchwork solution was telling Lana to blur out the faces.

But that wasn’t satisfactory for the community. ManyVids eventually put out a statement after people’s discontent persisted.

Indigo shows us a flurry of screenshots that take us through the public backlash ManyVids received for their slow and inadequate reactions to the Lana situation. ManyVids blocked people’s Twitters, for instance.

“So @ManyVids removed public flashing videos altogether by tightening the rules. I agree with the move & I’ll support it 100%,” Lana tweeted on September 27th, 2017.

Indigo wasn’t even sure or not if the minor involved with Lana was even real. But she voiced her worries about what their private chats looked like, given the state of their public interactions. Furthermore Indigo stated that if this debate is arguing about legalities, then priorities were misplaced.

Terence also tried to blame Eevee again. Someone brought up the time that EightLoaded tried to dox her, and Eevee posted proof of that.

and no I am NOT posting the version with my name. Anyone is welcome to privately dm me for the link,” she said.

“Timeline of events: 1) Poached 2) Got shady 3) Ignored communication despite us wanting to make up 4) We left her alone for a whole year,” Terence repliedAs you can tell from the earlier section of tweets, Terence did not “leave her alone.” He harassed her constantly on Twitter.  “5) She starts spreading numerous VERY SERIOUS lies about every1 in SECRET to diff cam models 6) We confront at Exxxotica on film.,” Terence continues.

Eevee called that out. “nope doxxed me within that 1 yr time frame and had an hour long skype call where we did resolve. Even apologized on twitter. U took it as me admitting fault and a reason to prosecute me anyway. 2 yrs later get a video recorded of me about claims I NEVER made and have proof of.

She went on to resolve any other lingering matters. “I’m not arguing if i poached or not cause it’s besides the point. I absolutely had no intentions of doing so and lost whatever tippers I had shared with them after the fallout anyway. I’m not and never was making more than them and that was never my goal. My goal was just to make a living. Idk what they want just please remove my name and the vid.”

“Evee’s 1 of the easiest ppl 2 read thru. She changes her story every year doesnt help either. Constantly pretends that the internet forgets.” Lana replied.

Eevee said the rest of her piece:

nothing I can do can stop them. See how I have offered to apologize and still nothing? That means it’s beyond an apology that’s wanted. whatever I’d happily apologize and have publicly, in private, whatever. my pride isn’t something I value more than my safety and income. there’s evidence of them bullying me that’s all I care about. If you want to talk shit about my business and sway people from giving me $ that is in your jurisdiction. You want to physically intimidate me and leak personal info? Not okay. I have not done that to anyone. also confused why I never got taken to court for stealing cc or saying I lived with them? I have proof neither happened…

The drama layer, that laid beneath the surface layer of Lana Rain, wasn’t the deepest this rabbit hole got.

Then there were the drugs.

The Drugs

In this Chaturbate Q&A “life advice” livestream, Lana talks about the wonders of getting high on shrooms. “The way shrooms works is basically your insecurities will manifest. So like basically you can see some really fucked up shit on Shrooms. Like you have to be completely secure with yourself to not see visuals. Because visuals equals insecurity. The weird shit you see on shrooms is actually just your insecurities.”

NBC and VICE missed out on this. They could’ve had a very enlightening conversation about the wonders of shrooms with Lana Rain, and they missed out. Lana says the problem is too often people don’t know how to handle shrooms and just mess around. Someone in the chat brings up the causes and experience of depression as it relates to the conversation, and Lana said that person was just “making excuses.” Lana said she has taken shrooms “a couple times.” It sounded like she hated it because it caused nightmares. The shroom trips. “At one point I was so fucked in the head […] I was stuck in my bedroom, and I thought reality broke. I thought everybody was broken. I thought time stopped. My phone wasn’t working. But it was all me just being high.” She says it’s not the best thing to “try and cure yourself with” for sure. Lana says the problem is shrooms are labeled “drugs” and thus people think “drugs equals fun.” Therefore folks won’t think about things from a “helpfulness” standpoint.

Basically, Lana’s stance is simultaneously seeing the craziness of shrooms in general, while at the same time being open to them as a method of self-improvement. She also mentions MDMA on that same vector, claiming it’s “a lot easier to use to help people.” But Lana clarifies she means “pure MDMA” and not anything less than that. “Because people open up on it. And they open up about their problems, and it also makes their brain work.” She goes on to say MDMA “overpowers your brain and makes you more understanding, more empathetic. It makes you open up.”

But there was one more piece to this puzzle.

This was initially posted by Sammy Martin on the Holland House blog. In it, he wrote that his “worst fears came true” in that a couple of colleges/personal friends he had grown close to were “completely different people” now. They seemingly dropped out of contact, then back up again, in what Sammy labels a “New Jersey Brainwashing Sex Cult” situation.

“I care so much about them. I do not know what else to do as it seems I have lost my friends to this cult already. One thing I am sure of though, I do  not want to see this happen to anyone else. Please, everyone in the camming communities, Models, Adult Performers, be super careful. I considered both these two friends to be intelligent and well adjusted people. It is so scary to think they have been brainwashed like this and sucked into this bizarre situation. Even scarier yet, as you listen to the phone conversation attached to this article, they were targeting me next through my friends.”

They posted a link to an MP3 file. A 25 minute, 34 seconds recorded cell phone call. You can listen to it for yourself here. I have taken the liberty of transcribing the whole thing so you can just read it through and not strain your ears trying to suss out what people are saying. I have to note that this file was deleted from the Holland House blog site. In a string of tweets, it’s explained that lawyers got involved on that end. Plus the authorities were informed.

Sammy was concerned that Nova was acting like a completely different person after heading out to Jersey. He subtweeted her online, Nova saw it and got mad, thus causing this phone call to happen. She had previously worked at Holland House but cut off communication. Nova explains to Sammy that this is standard behavior for her in a general sense. She’s a recluse that doesn’t make too many serious friends. But puts an effort in when she does. Her friendship with Sammy is one of those times because she accidentally “caught feelings” for him. Nova was frustrated at being off guard and admitted to pondering over the idea of making something work. But Sammy’s worries in the first place came off the impression that Nova was acting like an ex-girlfriend of his. Not because of cocaine use, but more so the similar patterns of behavior he observed. They start talking about Terence and how Lana’s group of friends are like a cult that worship him. Nova says she doesn’t partake in the routine shroom trips they do every “couple of days” and only did those once by herself alone. Not with the group. She mentions MDMA usage too.

Sammy and Nova talk about what appears to be their mutual friend, Shane. Sammy says he and everyone else in the Holland House chatroom thought Shane changed drastically after moving to Jersey. But moreover that he “changed back” when coming back to LA, only to revert to his Jersey self once returning there again. Nova argues Shane changed for the better (at least in her personal opinion). When the two first met, he was “manipulative” and terrible. But in comparison, by the time of the phone call conversation, Shane had left a lot of his old ways behind. Enough so that Nova was able to forgive him for the past. Of course, Shane was entrenched in the circle of Terence’s cult group. Nova shrugged it off as a “whatever makes Shane happy” sort of thing, while Sammy was still concerned for him regardless. For Nova’s own situation, she says going to Jersey helped her figure stuff out. While not exactly doing specific business work out there, the “personal trip” allowed her to sort out her identity.

Sammy brings up the fact that Terence and Lana’s group of friends functions like a cult. Every time he does, Nova is adamant in both disagreeing with that while reaffirming her own independence. But admits that people in the circle call Terence a god.

Sammy spoke to Lana around this time. “This guy “8” is asking you to call him God. All I ever asked is for you to call me a friend. Please get away from these people,” he tweeted. “He actually dislikes ppl calling him that because everyone who ends up knowing him ends up calling him or referring to him as that on their own & asks friends to not do so. Even @johnnystonecb knows this but he’s the type to lie his way out of things when he’s getting humiliated.,” Lana replied, trying to cover Terence’s ass. “I’ve never met you guys, so I don’t really know, all I know is what I heard directly from Nova in the phone call. My friends clearly hate me now, and aren’t my friends anymore, so it is what it is. Good Vibes moving forward,” Sammy wrote back.

GoldenGoddess bit the bait. “He IS a God. #cantwaittobebrainwashedonthe8th,” they tweeted.

Releasing a recording of the call didn’t fly so good with Nova. In a now-deleted tweet they said this.

Shane wasn’t a huge fan of it either. “Why are you saying I am in a sex cult then JESUS CHRIST I have been through so fucking much in my life and I finally have people who care for me and love and respect me for who I am and you want to turn that into a negative. How could you even say this shit to my face,” they tweeted.

To get to the heart of what’s going on with Terence “EightLoaded” Sanchez, Lana Rain, and the whole cult gang? We need to go to the Quantum Realm. We need to explore the inner echelons of Terence’s mind and open our minds to the synchronicity of the universe.

By that I mean, Terence and his friends took a ton of shrooms.

I put together a pastebin for you to read along with as we go through this bizarre and strange section of the story. Something that was foreshadowed in Terence’s previous phase of taking nootropics, I suppose. It’ll serve as a useful guide as we try and wrap our minds around this topsy-turvy reality Terence created.

When Terence began his experimentation process in November 2017, he talked about “harmonic duality.” As far as I can tell that means Terence had two personalities. One of them where he acts like what he thinks is a “super deep” person. The other being his usual trollish self. Towards the second half of the month, he tweeted about “killing a bear.” Obviously, he was high, because the morning after that tweet, Terence revealed he was talking about a gummy bear that caused him to cry for ten minutes. The month of November is a good and simple demonstration of how his personalities were beginning to mix. The night he’s high? Terence vaguely laments about his “biggest problem in the world.” The morning after? He’s back to comedy, saying that his big issue is “blue balls.”

“What about Lana? Or Veronica?” you might ask. In the case of the former, Lana was still buddies with Terence throughout this experimentation period. One night he left his pills behind with her as he went off for “work.” Even this early on there’s proof that Terence’s circle of cult/friends were aware that EightLoaded was often stoned. As for Veronica, Terence called her a “fucking emo bitch.” One can assume things weren’t so good on that front, anymore.

“Hypothesis: Biohacking with repeat therapeutic MDMA & Shrooms while performing intuitive perception to increase neuroplasticity of specific supersensory functions. | Purpose: To better understand our Multiverse,” Terence said on the eve of November 25th. I recommend buckling up because things are going to go out of control.

By December we come to find out this experimentation Terence was doing had turned into inducing nightmares with drugs. Sleep schedule has gone haywire. He claims it was for science. “Time & time again, the relationship between quantum science, neuroscience, psychology, and chemistry offer us a possible door to a more scientific philosophy that doesn’t involve fear & insecurities. A philosophy without gods,” Terence tweeted while probably high out of his goddamn mind. On that note, it’s worth pointing out that Terence admits to tweeting while shrooming it up. Take this seemingly complicated tweet from December 4th. After saying that word vomit, he states that you can’t understand what he’s talking about if you’re sober. It would explain the weird shit Terence was saying to Veronica around this time, anyway.

But make no mistake. Terence Sanchez was super serious about all this. Remember. When he’s talking about “research,” Terence means taking a bunch of shrooms and seeing what happens.

“If we oversimplify certain forms of autism as “missing certain neuron connections” then what “missing neuron connections” are missing in the population of “normal” people? And what extrasensory connections are there in those with certain autism? Think about it,” Terence “InfiniteLoaded” Sanchez wrote.

Terence thinks getting high is a means of “cosmic” exploration (but also scientific). Weighing the ramifications of his actions for the greater good against his own changing views. He says he went from wanting to save the entire world, to becoming someone who looks out exclusively for his circle of the close few friendships he maintains. Terence expressed a yearning to extend that “help” to the friends he had in his teenage years. But yet he’s unable to find help for himself all the meanwhile. It’s a dangerous combination when taking this “multi reality” philosophy he was developing his worldviews around and throwing that into the equation. Terence was serious about this adventure of his, claiming he found the blueprint of existence and was on the pursuit of further discoveries of some kind. Drugs were a factor in sexual situations for Terence too. “I’ll go further and say MDMA is good if ur the one getting fucked (no, not me, lmao) and shrooms is godlike if ur the one doing the drilling (and both, but u get what I mean),” he says.

“There’s an 8loaded in all of us.”

With the dawn of 2018, January is when Terence “EightLoaded” Sanchez began ramping up his wokeness. He thought he was tapping not only into the fabric of the world’s consciousness but out and beyond into the vast expanse of our universe.

Terence is awakened to his mission of making a “positive ripple” for the world. He thought getting high on shrooms was the gateway of returning to his roots. Terence clarifies that he doesn’t believe he was a good person, necessarily. Just that there were so many things going on in the world, he couldn’t ignore anymore. It was starting to bleed into his mind when not high on shrooms as well. As far as I can make of it, Terence believed that the universal dynamics (light, neurons, electricity) were the answer forward. That if humanity focused on finding better ways of basic communication instead of finding better ways to blow each other up, we’d move forward.

Moreover Terence thought that stuff about the cosmos and society intermingled together. It’s that concept in his (blazed as hell) mind that impacted his learning capabilities and studying. Further, this tapping into “universal consciousness” made him more worried about every little choice his friends made.

It also emasculated him.

“I’m going to delete the world’s problems . That is what I have dedicated my life to. And believe me, trust me, even if you hate me or dislike me, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what religion or belief you carry. I will still teach. I will teach, very slowly. Responsibly,” Terence wrote.

He thought the world was sick and society needed his help.

In February 2018 we’ve got more on the whole “getting friends high to improve their lifestyle” thing Terence has going on. “Whoa. I know you’ve been getting your [UP]grades from $HROOMZ but GOD DAMN. Just when I thought you weren’t paying attention you surprise me (surprise ME? (I’m never surprised even when I say I am, but today I am, foreal)) Thank you for always searching for the you of tomorrow <3,” he told Lana Rain.

Let me be blunt. Terence “EightLoaded” Sanchez believes getting his friends addicted to shrooms is a way for them to upgrade their personalities. This circle of “genuine friendship” is predicated on getting high and worshiping Terence. He says it’s not by force, of course. He just heavily implies it’s the only real answer.

Terence develops this weird obsession for the number 8. He says humans “run everything” on the value of 8 when it comes to microprocessors and the human brain. Terence believes human psychology is a hindrance to progress and “raw quantification” is the way to go. He preaches the gospel of a drug called MDMA as well, saying it “overclocks your cerebral ability by connecting new neuron connections that otherwise would not be activated all at once.” Terence tells people he’s writing a paper on it, and another one about the power of shrooms. His stated intents were “the expansion and evolution of the human mind” and to “deliver superior medical solutions.” But shortly after that conversation, he elaborates on what shrooms do. He believes that the high they deliver is like being Luke in the cave on Dagobah in Empire Strikes Back. Terence seriously believes shrooms take your spirit on a test of willpower. This period of contemplating “cosmic mathematics” throws Terence into an existential crisis. Also, he was horny.

By March 2018, the self-trained Messiah Terence elaborates on his beliefs. Power and potential are a prison that keeps humans in a particular set of limitations. Every person on the planet isn’t living in the present, but rather infinitely different frequencies of the universe based on our immediate interpretation of past experiences. There is no “now.” By the time we perceive “now” it’s already gone. Terence thought he tapped into something. He shared with the world his musings. “One of the perks of being able to naturally break the existential cosmic 4th wall is being able to peak into the collective consciousness (what we call our multiverse). That’s only possible because “I” don’t actually exist as an individual quantum box,” Terence tweeted. “To know without learning. To know without discovery. To know without the fundamental building blocks that builds the knowing, is self verifying cosmic insanity. I feel like I’m pretending at being human. I routinely access the math that creates me, but before I am created,” our Lord Terence said in a follow-up.

Just as a reminder: Terence is basing all of this off of getting high on shrooms. He thinks they can cure cancer.

“The forecast was wrong for this morning (they said it’ll be foggy). I AM the FORECAST” — March 2018 quote from Terence “InfiniteLoaded” Sanchez.

The shrooms let him tap into a library of what he thinks is knowledge. “Finally a hypothesis on why our world is dominated by the unit of 8 instead of 4 despite 4 dimensions being the minimum (height length width time). The answer is anti-matter, or dark matter. This doubles the necessary minimum per quantum. Nice.”

Lana believed this nonsense Terence was saying about getting high on shrooms was for the sake of “progress” in “human medicine.”

Terence actually said that “loved ones” were the only links to really keeping him from going entirely detached from reality. The number 8 was connected to Terence (according to Terence), making him the shroom prophet between himself and his friends. His “quantum soul” allowed Terence to simultaneously become another person while still being alive as we know him. He even begins recommending other people “go quantum” to improve their lives. We should be grateful. As Terence explains, he was giving his advice in easy bite-size chunks. “Going quantum is about finding the abstract & making it hyper-intuitively simple,” he says.

Terence wanted to save the world this way. By means of unlocking people’s capability for magic  (not implicitly stating people are able to do magic, but more or less do more than they currently can mentally wise) and “breaking the shackles of dimensions.” ONLY BY SHROOMS though. No stimulants. By mid-March, Terence wanted to formalize this expedition into the “quantum memory” world, opened by the keys of shroom. Revelations like that time happens all at once. The gospel of shroom is all around us, according to Terence. Even in video games like Super Mario and Starcraft II. “Shrooms = hyperbolic time chamber + Unity of Protoss Dark Templar + Mario shrooms + Ultra Instinct + the answer to chemotherapy” he tweeted. But, Terence the chosen one reminds us this is all a work in progress. That he too is imperfect and that this was a race against universal time. “Since every job is a chance to literally never come back, & I’m at my weakest rn, I want you to know one thing: consider me leaving you be as me believing in you. It’s hard every minute because I worry frustratingly, but this is your life, your choices. I only wanted to council..,” Terence wrote. He was going through a struggle against life’s mental gymnastics. “I live life almost as if every action and every single minute of my life is being judged by something greater than I, something cosmic & existential. Getting closer to the truth, I now know that greater, impossible to reach being, is the best of me. Judging, forever taunting.”

It caused delays for his paper. Remember this whole thing is about Terence spending a span of several months getting high with his friends. He says he even spoke to the police about his ideas, reporting they were “interested.” I bet they were. Not in the way Terence is implying, however. As Terence began more openly flirting with becoming a woman, drugs also played a role in that. “Shrooms not just aids against cancer, it potentially cures gender dysphoria as well, in a very effective way,” they tweeted. To Terence, this was his own response to their belief that society was moving forward and developing progressive ideas. But in an objective sense, somehow. “This whole misinterp sum ppl have that “objectivity doesnt exist” rly needs to end. The very notion goes against the laws of physics to begin with. Everything is quantifiable, even art. Just cuz we organic sentient beings cant properly visualize it doesnt mean its not there,” they wrote.

Also, quantum memory is reincarnation too. Or something. I’m reminded of the theme of the Quantum Leap TV show a little.

“Theorising that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Doctor Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator and vanished… He woke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own, and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear. And so Doctor Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong, and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home…”

The more I think about it, the more I think Terence stole from Quantum Leap.

Terence was still using this time to try and connect with other people on a personal level. He was ecstatic that one of his exes contacted him because he felt he needed support for whatever this period of self-discovery was for him.

Terence thinks the galaxy brain meme is a real thing. The title of this piece is “Quantum Synchronicity” because of sets of tweets like these.

Plus the same thing goes for de ja vu, according to Terence the God. If you’ve been following along so far, it’ll probably be common sense to you by now. He explains that de ja vu is memory fragments “synchronizing” with new experiences and you’re feeling the 4 dimensions around you as you vibrate through space-time. See? Easy peasy. But as a reminder, he thinks that the solutions of reality are only possible by drugs. What he says is pure gibberish that artfully walks the line between believable and complete nonsense. To boot, it’s all presented in such a way that it’s obvious Terence genuinely believes in his own delusions.

That, and he believes he’s a superhero.

By April 2018 Terence becomes more publicly arrogant about his drug enlightenment and believes the knowledge he obtained makes him better than us mortals. With such words of wisdom as “The concept of a coincidence is purely human. It makes absolutely no mathematical sense with regards to the physics of a Universe due to the necessity of numerical synchronicity in order for everything to properly work, including space-time & expansion. Nothing is a coincidence..,” in one tweet.

He was consistent with his hatred of psychology as a field of science. Terence says the universe is ruled purely by numbers, and the concept of things like “coincidences” don’t exist and hold back “ultra high IQ” minds (I swear tweets like this one aren’t April Fool’s jokes). “Going back to coincidences not making mathematical sense within a Universe: In other words, it’s not a coincidence that I survived multiple impossible situations, meet X, Y, & Z, and only because of those connections that they cause ripples effecting millions of lives,” Terence says.

Going “level 5” was what Terence thought was his destiny. But it’s also something he struggled with. Terence rounds off the month by getting a massive shroom high before seeing Infinity War in theaters.

As you can see by May 2018, Infinity War had a significant impact on Terence. It touched him on a personal level. But I suppose I should take a moment to point out what “level 5” means in Terence’s whacky shroom high fun house.

Thankfully he explained.

REMEMBER earlier on in the piece, I went over a video clip of Lana Rain talking about the same thing. How shrooms are a manifestation of one’s insecurities is something she talked about on a livestream.

Here in the middle of May 2018 is when Terence’s identity crisis hits a peak. We have to weigh Terence’s views on shrooms as a drug with this “mind journey” he’s taking while getting high on them.

Let’s translate this insanity he’s speaking into somewhat understandable terms. What Terence is saying is he has mixed emotions about how he feels about himself. But he’s beginning to see that what he thinks is the solution is presenting the best version of himself. Terence admits to pretending with his emotions for the sake of roping them into their social circle. It’s here he confesses to this weird cult agenda where he believes his personal goal in life is to “help” other people. With drugs.

I’m not grasping for straws when I say that. Look for yourself.

I’m not going to bullshit this. Sometimes Terence contradicts himself. In one tweet they’re claiming to have an identity crisis and forgetting who he is, blaming it on the electrical signals in his brain. “I lose track of time, but imagine time for a minute not as a memory, but a structure that holds every decision you’ve made without the psychological elements. I forget if X time is the one where I made Y decision to stick to Z themes 4 the sake of T,” he tweets. But in other instances, Terence claims he’s able to “instantly” know “all versions of reality” in a particular situation. That’s because he’s equal parts “bullshitter” as he is someone that’s “getting high on his own supply” of ego. One of the few things Terence is consistent about is his belief in drugs like MDMA & shrooms as being somehow tools. But in reality, it’s just him pushing this belief that he’s an intrinsic leader of some kind. This dogma of his where everyone else is selfish and only he can guide you through the cosmos of your mind to a higher calling.

Terence thought the shroom highs were changing his voice to become more robotic.  At this point, drugs made everything look better to him visually, and gave him ALL the knowledge. ALL the discoveries. Such was the magic of quantum memory. Also sometimes called quantum collective memory. “I’ve accessed the quantum collective memory and I have to say: Analyzing every detail I do deserve a lot better, from every direction, and every layer, but I’ll let it all go and let all these people have their comfortable fantasies, only because the world is waiting to be helped,” he says. “No bad human being can go to level 4 or higher on shrooms, that’s just how psilocybin works. Bad intentions, inscinere thoughts, lies to yourself, etc., All of these things will make you reject yourself. Shrooms, simply put, is YOU. Master it & u master yourself & ur cosmic role.”

But only Terence was destined to touch level 5. One of his miracles showing us as such is the fact of his “Eightloaded” username “having countless occurrences of significance in science, theoretical physics, and sentient life in general,” through that.

When it comes to June 2018, it’s the last month we see Terence in full “loco” form. So instead of trying to describe the insanity, I’m just going to list it all (which I have taken the liberty of doing for EVERY month in this handy pastebin I mentioned at the beginning of this section).

At the end of the day, you just need to see this shit for yourself to understand what’s going on here. My words alone can’t do it justice.

As you can see, Terence “EightLoaded” Sanchez the Messiah God Chosen One started to zone out by the end of the month.

At some point along this journey, Terence decided to start cross-dressing. Sometimes they’re a man, sometimes they’re a woman. As you can see over the past month of November 2018, Terence has walked out in public as a dude many times. But as of late they’ve also flirted in female identity territory.

(Upon questioning, Terence said they didn’t care what name I used in this piece. They clarified they are currently on HRT.)

Terence doesn’t grace Twitter with his “full woke” form anymore. He still held onto the same ludicrous ideas, however. Under the impression that his mission in life is to save the world. That he was able to do it well enough to have friends gravitate toward his quest. With himself and everyone else living under the rule of the universe’s synchronicity on top of all that. “Micromanaging 20+ ppl, some near, some far away, a few I’ve never seen, balancing sleep, dangers, & full blown existential issues verified by mathematics & constant synchronicity (hourly) that slaps you in the face with it’s self awareness = ZERO time for imperfection,” our lord and savior Terence wrote.

It’s one hell of a feat to try and sum up Terence’s mindset. Psychology is the dark ages, mathematical algorithms are the supposed enlightenment. “What’s fucked up is quantum physics the math is actually not quantum physics itself, which is why it never adds up to ZERO. A system trying to explain a concept that by it’s very design it can’t possibly explain due to it’s perceiver’s limited comprehension of reality,” Terence actually said in a tweet once. His belief system is some kind of reality manipulation that in itself is a collective grand design of all-greater significance. By Fall 2018 Terence is still lost at times on a personal level. His woke brain being too big and making him unable to connect with others. But he was faithful the physical world would someday catch up with him.

Shrooms are one hell of a drug. The quantum stuff was around in Terence’s brain for years. But it finally manifested itself after their grand drug experiment.

The Chat Logs

To fill in the pieces of the Terence “BloodCalibur InfiniteLoaded” Sanchez puzzle, I had some help. Meet Sasha.

Sasha lived with Terence, Shane, and Bianca (Lana) for 2-3 months. They were a part of the circle. December 15th 2017 to Feb or March 2018. Sasha first met Bianca 6 years ago. She was 17 and dated her from 2011 to 2012/13. Sasha says Terence exercised his power and control over herself, Shane and Bianca. Veronica too despite her distance from the group, physically. Sasha says she had Vernonica’s nudes “shoved in my face.” Sasha also says Veronica was called a “stupid bitch” and “dumb bitch” multiple times. Terence allegedly said how he liked “watching Bianca pee” in cases when she was out of the room. But most egregiously, in a shroom-filled/psilocybin high, Terence told Sasha and the gang he wanted to see Veronica get fucked by dogs.

(There are serious allegations made by Terence/Lana against Sasha and that’s addressed on the next page.)

Photo Set 1: Lana and Terence’s relationship revealed.

Date: February 22nd 2018. The following is a conversation between Lana Rain (Bianca) and Terence “EightLoaded” Sanchez. This happened in the middle of Terence’s experimentation period with shrooms. Something that Lana Rain was a participant in.

To verify that these logs are legit, Sasha provided me with a screenshot of Bianca giving these screencaps to Sasha themselves.

Within it, Terence says he’s sad and depressed. He makes it clear this ISN’T because the two of them have tons of people around them these days. “If it was just because other people are always around us now then there’s plenty of easy and simple ways we can still have our togetherness that we always had.”

Terence says Bianca is too detached from him and he feels like she forgets who he is because of that. “I’ve been wanting to make love to you/eat you out but we’ve always been cycling through sickness for the past 3 weeks, mainly waiting for you to fully recover though.” Terence says he wanted to get it on with Bianca because they had the time to now. “More sides of my sexuality has been unlocked, for both of my genders.” The only thing getting in the way as far as other people were concerned was this Jayson fella. Other than that, Terence was eager to get back into “their thing” and have this relationship with Bianca evolve.

Terence says he was in the process of taking pills for “continuing this transition.” His goal was so that he and Bianca could go public with their relationship. That they’d lie and tell everyone they just “started going out.”

“As I unlock more and more of my quantum memories I become more aware of what I am and what I can potentially do. The side effect being that I start to lose portions of my humanity that are obsolete for who I really am and how complete I actually am. Don’t worry, it’s not the style you were worried about like going Dr. Manhattan. It’s a different way. It’s hard to describe in words but it’s like, instead of becoming too transcended and being detached, it’s more like becoming too mentally flexible and powerful that portions of my old self I realize were immature themes to use and I feel detached from my past. Basically too wise is one way of looking at it.”

Terence said things were happening “too fast” and he had a lot of work ahead of him. He demanded everyone else help him out and be more aware/thoughtful of his situation. With regards to Bianca in particular Terence wanted to “go past what we were. And even further beyond that. There’s no limit to how close we can get. I want to always be with and touching you and holding you. I want to hold your hand outside again one day.”

Doubling back around to feeling “pushed away” and “forgotten,” Terence said Bianca was “rejecting his existence” because she said she was afraid of existential crisis she had from taking shrooms. Terence said he was incredibly happy that Bianca had told him that one session had a high that was “really good” for her. But Terence gets extremely frustrated that Bianca had a “bad trip” the next time. “Are you kidding me? It’s almost like you’re always having something to be afraid of or be anxious over no matter the magic and impossibilities that I perform to fix things for you. Look at everything you have, and I made Kira exist. And we gave you Freedom because he want Epyon.”

Full on gibberish.

Terence re-emphasizes that whenever sad songs play, he’s thinking of HER and not Veronica. “Even when her and I were going out and everything was going well, if I seemed so focused then it’s only because I knew what needed to be done. I needed to save her first. But I totally had other plans in the future that I never even vocalized. I didn’t say them because 1) You know that’s now how I make things happen 2) That’s not what you would have wanted to hear at the time.”

Terence said he lied to both her and Veronica. “I fully planned on making it work in a way that you and I still had our damn alone time. I was going to make her damn okay with that and I was going to tell her the lie eventually (the one I told you about when it was just you and me on shrooms right before you had a bad trip and started calling xombeh again).”

Terence confesses his love for Veronica. He says the two of them were “the same soul.” But even so, Terence tells Bianca he wasn’t “IN love with her as much as you think.” That given how he operates he never breaks from his personal protocol. Yet somehow Terence failed in her eyes anyway. Terence said he had his feelings hurt when Bianca said Veronica “ruined Yuri” for her.

“Try to imagine how that must make someone feel if they took it that way while trying to do this transition, on top of the history we had with my transition too, on top of how sad I was in general about taking these pills. It’s just a lot of things combined, like how you react to me, the fact you always have something new to have an existential crisis over despite the miracles like making Kira exist to become a second verifying trajectory outside of me, how you’re always being immature and careless about your health just because you wanna be a puppy dog following him around over unnecessary stuff, while I’m stuck in limbo with a growing REAL existential crisis, having nothing left in this world to pull me back or give me any new answers about why I’m suppose to exist.”

Terence says to Bianca: “I don’t want to exist for the world. I want to exist Just for YOU.”

He just repeats himself for the rest of this exchange. The fact that Terence’s personal happiness depends on whether or not Bianca likes getting high. “You rejected my existence basically, because that’s what your existential crisis was built on. And the first time you were even about to leave and fly out.”

Terence seriously just goes on like this.

“Just think for a second about everything I’ve ever done for you and how everything I do is for you. I build an entire world around you. Even women I like or want to like, or love, I build around you. And that’s just all of the stuff you’re AWARE of. I don’t want credit or a thank you. That’s not my point here. My point is, imagine how it feels to be rejected so many times by you. I’ve always been selfless but with you I’ve learned to be unhealthily selfless and almost never ask for any real thing because I’ve stopped expecting things from the person I love the most in the Multiverse. Someone created this Universe and put me as God in it to be the cause of ripples every cycle, to be the game master of the board, yet I have no place in it, there’s no place to belong to. I’m in constant limbo. I can see myself actually taking the detached mental route into something liek a Dr.Manhattan that you fear if I continue to verify that I have no place other than to be a God. Veronica for December gave me a ground, a chain to attach to this world as I unlocked who I am, because she NEEDED me in a way that I was the only one and only thing she had. I was her world. It kept me human while becoming God. Now, I know you need me, but I don’t feel like you NEED me that way, at least not anymore. And it’s not that I need you or anyone to need me like that, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m just saying because someone did, it kept me grounded. It allowed my upgrade to make me superhuman instead of making me into a god.”

What to take away from all this is that Lana Rain and Terence’s relationship is NOT what has been implied to the public for the last few years.

Photo Set 2: How Lana really felt about Veronica

With the above taken into consideration, we need to then go over how Lana Rain really felt about Veronica. In light of a conversation between her and Sasha. As we established in the first set of photos, there’s more of a relationship going on between Terence and Lana than meets the eye. Bianca tells Sasha there’s a jealousy war going on between her and Terence. “The hilarious part about that is that the reason I like him is because I rebounded cuz Veronica was making me feel like shit,” she tells Sasha. Bianca then reveals that Terence and Veronica had “started having a thing.” She was bothered with that and let Terence know how she felt. But he just got mad at her and would say “leave me and my new gf alone.” Lana says Veronica dumped her because she started liking Terence. He “always was constantly vocalizing to her that he was in love with her when me and her were dating,” Bianca says. It made her feel insecure. Terence justified their actions by saying it was to boost Veronica’s self-esteem. Bianca says both Terence and Veronica seemed to be actively trying to drag her down to feeling like garbage. So she started eyeing this Jayson person, spending time with them instead. Bianca points out how contradictory Terence was in how he felt about Veronica. Nowadays, he was praising her and saying how “Veronica was right” about everything. There’s this fixation on whatever Veronica has to say. But on the other hand, in the past, Bianca says Terence called Veronica “a poison.”

Bianca says she’s repressed the negativity and emotional abuse by Terence. “He’s done it so much that I just blocked it out at this point. Forced myself to stop caring,” she writes. “I still love Terence of course,” Bianca says in a follow-up. Bianca makes it clear that her mood is directly correlated with how Terence is feeling, even though she says “he doesn’t even care about my career anymore.” A problem outlined by her to Sasha is that having other people over (Shane, Sasha, Jayson) seems to upset the “dynamic” of their social lives.

“It wouldn’t matter if it wasn’t for Veronica,” Bianca says. “Veronica basically almost completely erased the positive that Johny has done by giving him another perspective on how he might still be alone,” Bianca told Sasha. Lana wished Terence stopped talking to Veronica completely. “You don’t understand, everything he ever says or does is about her. Like he just keeps talking over and over again about wanting to fuck this or that girl. But it’s like it’s literally only to forget Veronica.”

Sasha told Bianca that she witnessed Terence doing the same thing and it aggravated them.

(I made part of this next quote in bold for emphasis):

You realize Veronica wasn’t my decision right. It was his, and the only reason I pressed for it was because he kept telling me she was the perfect woman. I was unhappy the entire relationship. But I kept pressing on and on and on for it cuz he literally would push me and blame for me shit. All the while flirting with her because her self-esteem needed it, and expecting me not to get uncomfortable. Like it was fucking ridiculous.”

Let’s revisit the September 2017 ruckus. Where Lana Rain’s relationship was in the center of the camgirl community spotlight. Now you can see the entire thing was a facade. What happened back then was simply another in a long line of manufactured controversies, authored by Terence and Lana.  As you can see by Lana’s own writings, the drama was first thing on her mind. She relished the fact that people were paying attention to her so much. Veronica was the last. “And now it gets even better, first they’re mad at my success, now they’re trying to demonize the one thing that I love infinitely more than being Lana Rain: My relationship with the best human being in the world, my gf Veronica. Thank you everyone, first you acknowledge my success, now you acknowledge my love story.”

It certainly makes Lana’s admission of a “mistake” in posting about Veronica on their NSFW Twitter a load of hogwash. If Lana didn’t even like Veronica in the first place, then why brag about it whatsoever? Attention. That’s why these drama posts about Veronica have the theme centered around Lana’s career rather than their relationship in of itself.

Photo Set 3: How Lana covered for Terence’s deeds

July 5th 2018. Veronica confronts Bianca after the fact.  “Terence did show your nudes to someone by the way (showed it didnt actually send it via phone or computer), I never tried to tell you that was incorrect.” The argument was that bit of nuance. Terence thinking he could tip-toe around the law if he physically showed the nude images in person, rather than sending them digitally. Veronica takes the stance that Terence was a narcissist for doing that. Bianca believes there’s some other kind of explanation. Bianca uses the rationale that Terence could manipulate ANYONE for nudes, and Veronica thinks it’s cold that she’d just steamroll her respect like that. The debate was over it being an “intelligent conquest” or “stupid spite.” Veronica knew Terence was obsessed with her, but Bianca uses that as a line of reasoning that Veronica is supposed to understand BECAUSE of that.


“Lana did not cover for me, I was not even there with her until later in their conversation. She didn’t know anything about what I did because I needed everybody to act like they always do for everything to fall into place.”

The conversation I had with Terence is verbatim.

We also have proof that Terence admitted to showing Veronica’s nudes to people. Months earlier there was a chat between Sasha and Terence. March 2018.

This leads us to the end. Sasha explains why they wanted to come forward.

“I want to say I cannot stand what I saw there. I didn’t like seeing someone boss around a group of people whom are very much richer than me yet just as vulnerable. I’ve been wrong and I’ve seen both sides of abuse and I can tell you someone who continues to push their ideology and desire above the Will of others is someone who needs to spoken out upon… at the least. I am not a judge, but I am a flawed human who has tried to be good and knows how power and control can ruin and harm a person. Someone who doesn’t learn from their mistakes upon their own realization of the harm they’ve done is someone who needs to be shown their mistakes if not to them, then the public. I will allow them to be jury, and I trust you and my friends here to help everyone avoid anymore pain out of this deeply troubled individuals lack of understanding of their actions. Its a culmination of many feelings and I am an indecisive, self critical, and very deeply morally driven yet flawed human soul.”

Sasha makes a good summary of what it’s like being in the midst of all this. But what about the rest of us? What do we as outsiders hope to glean from the Terence Sanchez affair?

Concluding Thoughts

What the hell happened here? What happened was Terence “EightLoaded” Sanchez hitched on to Lana Rain for a ride up through the world of camming. In doing so he opened the doors up for her and himself and all their friends to a plethora of drugs and sex. This was alongside attempts to pimp ladies out to top tippers on Chaturbate (as one source claims took place). I have sources that tell Terence’s connections to drug dealers meant that they could get molly, cocaine, and weed whenever they liked. Terence himself liked the MDMA and shrooms. He got that through a special laptop set up to connect to the Tor network. Why is it specialized? It’s because it’d be kept clean of any identifiers and various other fingerprints. EightLoaded used that to get his fix, and it’s that hook onto shrooms that started his mind’s descent (or what he’d call “transformation”).

Terence always had something that was “off” about them. That’s evident in the days of the MyAnimeList cult group he had set up with Lana. But the drugs became a springboard that allowed EightLoaded to make what was once a fantasy into a reality. By making a circle of friends that he groomed with the promise of “helping” their careers (three different sets of sources established something along those lines had occurred), Terence hooked people in. But the drugs are what kept these group members in line. Some, like that Nova girl, were able to at least be aware of that and distance themselves. But people like Shane felt lost and had no other place to go. So they fell into Terence’s arms. A few sources claim that he had a bad drug trip recently. So you can see how that’s panning out for him. A sense of “belonging” with a greater gravity of long-term costs. Sure, there are studies that say drugs like “magic mushrooms” might have positive effects. But in those cases it’s more along the lines of taking them once a month to once every three months. When you have someone like Terence Sanchez? He’s lighting up once every couple of days, once every week, once every two weeks. The ramifications of that can cause someone to fry their brains.

Sasha explained to me that Terence is much more controlling of Lana Rain’s social media accounts than ever publicly known or implied. She says Terence watched over WhatsApp messages like a hawk and he had a degree of control over her social media. Sasha would know these things. She told me one night when she was sleeping over at Terence’s place, that Terence masturbated in the bed they were all sleeping together in. She knows this because Terence told her about it. This disgusting display in behavior extended to how Terence kept his apartment. Multiple sources tell me it was kept as a disgusting garbage dump. A place where other people were often tasked with cleaning up the mess.

But when it comes to Terence’s sexual deviancy, this is made apparent through his grooming of Veronica. EightLoaded got together with Lana Rain when they were under 18. Here they are in October 2012. February 2014. April 2014. October 2014August 18th 2015. Lana claims to be single, back during the Ms. B/Eevee drama. But Terence in his video uploaded that day said he was together with someone in a polyamorous relationship for three years. Is it coincidental that lines up with this Lana Rain timeline? It’d be a coincidence if he was just happening to date another Bianca back in the day. The dynamic of Lana Rain and Terence’s relationship now is unclear. They had a fight in June 2018 and made up a few months later.

It’s very revealing about EightLoaded’s preference with women when he chose to go after a not yet 18-year-old when Veronica came along. Moreover, he obfuscated the whole thing with a public charade where Lana is the one that seemingly got together with them. Just so Veronica would get roped into this circle. This camgirl world. Even then, she was used as a pawn in their game. In the end it was clear neither Lana or Terence really cared about Veronica, only what they could get out of it from their personal fascinations with her.

But most importantly, I learned that the camgirl community is a community that holds as much self-respect for itself as the rest of the internet. I know it may seem hard to believe that naked people dancing and doing porn stuff might have given up any dignity, at a first glance. The Terence “EightLoaded” Sanchez saga has proven to me that there’s still a system of personal honor to it, though. Honor was used as a weapon by Terence in the cases of Ms. B and Eevee. He dangled that over his rivals as a means of personal dominance. When it came to Veronica’s situation, Indigo White and QueenHayliexo had their eyes and hearts on the honor of the camgirl community in mind when making their videos explaining what was going on.

When I say VICE and NBC missed something when covering Lana Rain, now you see what I mean. In the case of Lana in particular, the mainstream media was oblivious to the dark and dramatic history shackled to Ms. Rain personally. But conversely, there’s the story beyond Lana Rain. 

The camgirl community is more than the sum of one of its parts, and what I saw here is them dealing with a whole lot of trouble. What I saw is the community defending their pride. Even if their definition of pride has a twisted sense of cutthroat cattiness. What I saw is Lana Rain’s career become a Reddit AMA dumpster fire.

You probably saw this whole article as entertainment but the reality of it for the people involved is that it’s sad and confusing. This is a story of REAL people. Underneath the glitz and glimmer there’s a cold hard world of calculated actions beyond the warm fuzz of wordplay. 

Scroll back up. This started as a seemingly innocent story about a young girl enthused about doing cosplay. Now you very much probably see her as a zoned out narcissistic member of a sex cult (or “harem”).

On the last page is Terence’s responses and comments.

Sasha and Terence Responses

When I asked Sasha about the allegation of rape against them, this is what they had to say.

My name is Sasha S. and this is an unofficial statement related to the accusations of rape against me by Bianca C. a camgirl by the stage-name Lana R. I will not admit to these accusations nor will I deny them, yet I am not pleading no contest. I am going to put this up to the court of public opinion to decide upon me and my actions. I dated Bianca when she was age 15 and I was age 17 back in 2011. After high-school and after my probation for an MIP (now expunged at 18) I went to Montreal, Quebec Canada to visit the girl whom I began dating online. I did not initiate sexual contact physically, but I was the one who began a sexual relationship with her. She came downstairs several times where I refused any penetrative sex with her due to her mothers expressed wishes. The incident of my accusation was around 2012-2013. She had teased a fetish out of me I previously had wanted to keep to myself. That doesn’t matter, because after that I pressed on it. I begged her to do it for me, using coercive statements such as “you’ll do this if you love me” to pressure her into going through with it. On the date of the incident she told me “Ok I’ll do it for you but I want to get drunk first”. We both were inebriated at the time of the event. She already previously was willing to get inebriated upon her own behalf, but that should have raised a red flag. I allowed her to proceed not realizing my selfish actions were about to hurt her and how I pushed her into them. I did not physically force myself upon her and consent was given at the time of the incident. I personally feel I manufactured this consent though. A few months after we broke up due to unrelated differences, I realized what I had done. I felt so guilty I wanted to die if only it would make her feel better, anything to atone for my actions.

I am a rape victim myself, beginning at age 7 with molestation by my cousin Jonathan S., rape by my stepfather John K. at 11, molestation by my ex bf Jordan K. at age 23, and drugged rape by my ex girlfriend Lilith W. at age 24. I was so selfish, and currently realizing I am transgender and a woman at age 22 I realized I had acted in a masculine and toxic way out of fear of my true nature. I am deeply sorry to Bianca and for my actions, and I’ve seen both sides of abuse as a perpetrator and a survivor. I cannot stand for abuse of any kind and stand for the freedom of everyone. Which is why I am standing against Terence Sanchez, currently 29 and a power and control cult-leader whom has molested 2 women and coerced a 16 year old forcing her upon Bianca. If I need to lose my reputation or be outed or even taken to court though due to my local statutes of limitations it is unlikely I will ever see a day in court for it, so be it.

But I will willingly accept myself to be judged in the court of public opinion. I do not accept nor deny my crimes nor do I provide a plea of no contest to the public. I am willing to publically apologize and give my statement. This is unofficial and will be released by a source of mine if my actions should be brought to light and even if they shall not at a certain date in the year 2025. By this time I will have created a reputation for myself worth losing as a private investigator, writer, and sex worker. I stand against abuse and for the rights of any survivor to come forward and speak or take legal action. I accept, and do not run from these events despite not giving my plea of guilty, not guilty, or no contest to the supposed crime. I will accept any punishment both legal or non-legal which comes to me… I am sorry Bianca what I did was disgusting and wrong and I am so deeply personally apologetic for my actions, yet I do not accept outright that this was a crime. It was a mistake for sure, and I am in regret for it and anything it has done to you psychologically or emotionally. I am Sasha S. and this is my unofficial testimony and apology to Bianca C.

She is releasing this possibly because I am going after this abuser. Maybe after she see’s his own crimes and understands I am a different person investigating a rape and murder of an abuse survivor she will back down but if not. I am willing to go to court or to be exposed for my actions. If it should make her feel better I accept that.

– Sasha S.

P.S. If only her redemption matters, so be it. Supposedly we reconciled this when I lived with her back in Dec 2017. However if she wishes to release this now for any reason, be it for a cover for this abuser or out of true wish for compensation or a conclusion to her feelings upon this matter, I accept anything coming to me.”

I sent Terence a series of questions about this story. This was their response. They chose not to answer all the questions I presented, so what you see is what they chose to acknowledge.

Q: (Their Opening Statement)

A:I’ve left behind as much drama as I can and I believe in giving clarity to only the most important questions and claims so I will do just that. Although I do not know if you are even a good person or not or if your intentions are honest. First of all, your source who goes by the name of “Sasha” is a man who falsely claims to be trans. I know this because this person is the same guy who dated and raped Lana when she was in her mid-teens. This is actually going to be dove into in a documentary of her life that she’ll be releasing. Your source is literally someone who would say things to a girl, “if you don’t do [sexual favor] then you don’t love me” and “you’re suppose to do this because you’re a woman”. He has physically forced her to do things and our recent encounter with him has shown he hasn’t changed one bit. He’s also a meth addict and we all have reason to believe he has preyed on other helpless women as well. There are over 10 witness in real life to this, not some internet speculation shit either.”

Q: “Walk me through the nuances of this polyamorous relationship you’ve cultivated these past few years.”

A: “I’ve never been in one first of all. I had a tendency to say whatever to rile up or mess with the insecurities of people on message boards back then. It’s an obsolete behavioral tendency of mine that I carried over from the toxic days of playing online games when I was a kid. It kind of just flew from there. I’m a stern believer that polyamorous cannot work and does not exist in a genuine way, and this is an idea that all of my friends share and that we preach aggressively whenever someone ever tries to get into one.”

Q: “Did you share nude photos of an underaged Veronica? I have chatlogs establishing not only did you show nude photos of Veronica to Shane Hall and Sasha, but also chatlogs demonstrating that Lana was an accomplice of yours in trying to justify that to Veronica directly.”

A: “No I did not and that’s how I know your source is Nick. Back in January, Nick aka Sasha, emailed Lana after years of not speaking to each other, that he was sorry for all the things they’ve done. After much consultation from each other and our friends, we decided that since we were on the trajectory of helping people out and advocating forgiveness that we would do our usual which is to help that person out. Nick is heavily addicted to drugs, the dangerous kind, such as meth and black tar, basically dopamine-based substances and lived in the basement of his mother who was abusive. She offered to let him stay with her until he could get a job and I promised her I’d teach him whatever skills necessary to survive and grow up in life. Things like believing in one’s self and having the skillsets to make things happen for yourself. After a week of our entire circle of friends trying to help him out and some of my friends even offering to vouch for him at their work place or to help him with his resumes, Nick ended up being a freeloader and not even help around with anything at all. He would go out of his way to manipulate his way through everything. I had my suspicions from the beginning but I really, truly, wanted to give him a fair shot at turning over a new leaf. The last straw was when he begged the group to get him some drug called “hexen” and claimed it was safe and that he would be able to “function better and look for a job”. I tried to tell him from the first week that he was addicted to meth and now he was begging for a replacement for it. Once a friend and I looked it up and found out he purposely left out how dangerous the chemical was, it was decided that he was too toxic to keep around. He was fed and taken care of and we held many group sessions to talk about his mom’s abuse and everything else to try to help for weeks but it seemed futile. This is also the same guy who would ask every guy in our friend group if he “can watch them pee”, and share sudden nude photos of himself in the group chats without anybody asking him to despite everyone telling him no. We’ve caught him in dozens of lies on an nearly daily basis and it became apparently clear to the rest of us what exactly Lana was dealing with when she went out with him many years ago. What I showed Nick was not her pictures (and Shane aka Dreamer was never involved, I don’t know how that got added but you’re dealing with a pathological liar who abuses people). All I did was show my phone screen of a picture that was not her’s, it was not necessary for the purpose of my 6 month plan. I did it to jump start a series of events that involved the potential “fixing” of four people, of which Nick/Sasha is included in. As for Lana, she was not aware of any of this, and neither were my friends, because I needed them to act and behave as naturally as they do. That’s why Lana was just as shocked about it when it first came up as well, and none of this would have worked if I didn’t plan every little piece of timing as I did. The plan involved another friend of mine who would eventually be forced to take action in the middle of it, which at the time was something this person so badly needed to experience in order to start the first big changes towards being a better human being. That person was a liar and a manipulator. Today, that person is one of the most honest and caring person my friends and I know. The only failure in my plan there was Nick himself because he has no intention of ever changing. One of the small pieces of evidence I have in showing that all of this was premeditated is the fact that the very last thing I said to him on Telegram was, “You have a role to play in helping the world, but only if you’re ready to be an honest person”. Also, V and I have already spoken all about this at length and she’s in a better position in life than before. Currently she’s just trying to be an independent and working on herself, so bringing up this drama that has already been reconciled and understood by the parties involved, and positive things are moving forward, over guesse and speculation is going in a backwards direction for your personal satisfaction.”

Q: (I reveal to Terence that Veronica was speaking to me.)

A: “Ill be honest with you here, am I to believe shes just been long conning me the whole time/ WHich is messed up because I thought she really knew I had the best intentions fo rher. I thought she told me she reconciled everything and that she understood what I actually meant by everyhing. I am hurt. EIther way, conning me wasnt necessary, because she was already out of my life and I had given her my apologies prior to her coming back out of the blue and we hadnt spoken fo rmonths, she came out of the blue and acted like shes been re-understanding eerything and I was happy because I thought I had a friend back. but if thats what she said on Nov 30? then honestly man, I’ll admit it. I feel like shit right now. Whats fucked up is no ones being abused here. I may have convoluted bullshit plans I do. but no ones doing bad things around me, Ive helped friend quit cocaine and cigarette use, and I dont partake in negative behavior.”

Q: “As for the Miss Bee and Eevee Frost thing….”

A: “Miss Bee was one of those cam girls who was trying to bully Lana back when she was in her first year of camming so when the word got out that Miss Bee had cammed with a cam model while knowing full well she has herpes but did not tell her, and then her ex-husband gave me a video recording from his phone where she’s yelling and even hitting him for telling the other camgirl about it (even though it’s the right thing to do…). This is also something that has already been left in the past as her ex-husband has already asked me to take the stuff down because he said, “one thing she is though is a good mother, and I don’t want her to lose custody of her children to the new bf”, and since I’ve spoken to her about it myself as well. Eevee was someone that Lana decided to help because she wanted friends that she could relate with. This was when she was still new to camming. Her and her regulars tried to help Eevee with everything to get her whole thing growing, and I jumped in to help as well by helping her and her boyfriend at the time work through their relationship issues. I was also helping him get a job because he wasn’t making enough at his work place. They had a falling out because Eevee eventually started getting paranoid when she started not making as much (which is really dumb, because she went from making $30-50 a day to $300-500 a day with our help), and started poaching Lana’s tippers directly behind her back even though the whole reason she dodged being homeless at the time was the timing of our help. It’s not a mystery that cam girls CAN tend to be very cutthroat, even to people they consider “friends”, and this was something Lana tackled a lot back then, especially for someone who was growing so fast at the time. Once again though, Eevee and I have left this behind for a year now and I doubt she wants to be involved in any further drama. All I was doing was trying to protect Lana in a world and community that was very cutthroat to someone who many of us see as one of the most gentle person out there. To finish this off with a personal note: You are attacking the wrong person. I am not some asshole who goes around hurting people or messing with people’s lives. My friends and I are strong believers in going far to help people, and someone like Nick was a very big test in that regard due to what he did to Lana. But, I am also abraisive and aggressive when it comes to defending the people I care about, though I am also learning to be more socially understanding over the past couple years to optimize the effectiveness of my intentions. I feel very strongly about things such as my friends being hurt or being ganged up on unfairly and the cam world is very good at twisting things when things don’t go their way. Some of these people have no concept of dignity, so at times I felt aggression in my posts was a necessary evil. Judging from the psychology of your questions, you’re attacking someone who, outside of the group from the cam world that has been rubbed by me the wrong way over the INTERNET, has gone through and continues to go through great lengths to do good and help people.”

Q: “Well. You’re logged into [Lana’s] Twitter, WhatsApp and ManyVids accounts all the time.”

A: “I was only ever logged into her Twitter and I no longer hve access to that”

Q: “So that stopped after your June 8th fight?”

A: “It didnt stop over any fight, her regulars have access to her accounts too because everyone helps out, this is not something thats special to ME”

Q: “Closing Thoughts.”

A: “Anyone can write an article about somebody they’ve never met or know anything about, and I don’t mind looking bad on the internet, but I do mind that you’re listening to someone who raped my friend for over a year and has been one of the biggest if not the biggest causes of the problems she use to have in life which our support circle painstakingly helped her pull through. You are dealing with a very convoluted story that involves people who have had to be strong through more hardships in life than the average person in order to get to where they are. You’re also dealing with a story that literally no one would write negatively about if they were part of it, knew every detail, or were there to witness all the events and the people in it. Ask yourself why every single person who does seem to know our circle of friends well thinks positively of everyone and.”

“You may not be involved in any of this, so you dont know me nor do you know how things actually are with my life and my friends, and how theres actually nothing negative going on, especially now, (which makes the timing of this even more fucked up for everyone), but what I’m going to say is just my piece on this whole thing now that I know: A lot of things are going to be hard to understand, rightfully so, because the whole thing really is convoluted, so I won’t make excuses in that regard. What I will say though is that it is true that my intentions and my trajectory has always been that of good intentions, and I dont go around hurting people or any of that either. My biggest thing here in all of this, is that I genuinely, truly, care for, and still do even after all this, for Veronica and that it hurts me to no end that the past 2 months has just been her pretending to have re-understood everything and all that. I thought she was on a more positive trajectory in life and I can say I’ve made a lot of sacrifices for her sake and to give her the best chances possible of understanding me and the best chances possible of getting out of the negative situation she painted about her living conditions. But right now, I’m being made into a bad person over it.”

“You dont have any intentions of trying to understand my situation or the situation of those involved, including Veronica’s herself (despite her apparently supporting this), and you will go with whatever narrative you so please to believe and what satisfies you. I have an obligation to put more clarity to the convoluted situation as much as I could but with bits and pieces of information being taken out of context as well as the situation in Veronica’s life being very difficult to understand for me as well (and I’ve come to reconcile that even better now that I’ve spoken about all this to a mutual friend of ours who seems to have a better grasp of her personality because she can relate to it), I just have to assume that there must have been dimensions and layers to our communication that just weren’t understood the way I thought they were understood, or that they were being perceived inaccurately from her end. It was very hard communicating after all, being bound to just a text box and worrying and dancing around the situation she painted about the difficulties of her life.”

“The only thing I can say is what I’ve already kept saying up there, which is that my intentions and my purposes were always for the greater good and what I thought was beneficial. I was presented with extremes in the situation and I tried to do my usual bullshit of “winging it” and/or listening to my gut feelings about doing extreme plans just to dance around those variables and dilemmas, while also having my own secrets to hide of my own that, rightfully so, have nothing to do with any of those situations, which I can tell exacerbated and strained the line of communication and understanding further.”

“There’s a reason why people think differently of me IRL and why there’s such a big support group in our circle of friends, and I think its unfair to judge someone based off of bits and pieces of data, no matter how straightforward it may seem because of screens taken out of context and the convoluted persona I hold online. Right now all I care about is the careers of Lana and everyone else involved and those who tether themselves to me publicly. I don’t care about how I look. Just know you are making a big mistake if you think you’re doing something thats positive. This helps no one, especially when everything is going so positive now in mine and everyone else’s lives after so much painstaking difficulties.”

“If there is a reason why Veronica has gone in this direction despite the way shes been speaking to me the past couple months then its either 1) She has long conned me just to get back at me because she feels I never fully explained everything and feels wronged, despite me offering my side of the story as well as offering to answer any and all questions AND coming very clean with a lot of things with my personal life as a token of me going forward with showing how transparent I was trying to be finally 2) That there’s a side to her that I probably just don’t understand. If you speak to her (because I’m assuming this means she won’t ever again to me, which I’m still confused about because I thought we talked about everything already…) then I hope you can at least tell her again that I am sorry. Regardless of all of this, regardless of the backstab, I still hope she gets out of the terrible situation in her life. You can tell her that I am hurt and that I don’t plan on speaking to her ever again as I can’t trust what I’m even reading anymore or what she’s even perceiving. Also I had already spoken to her about the poly thing when she asked. I don’t know why she doesn’t believe my explanation considering I went as far as going into very personal details about my past just to prove that I was being very transparent from there going forward.”

“I had to explain one of my most private memories just to prove that Lana and I stopped being together since around January 2016. She’s being very manipulative about how she’s explaining her story, either that or she was never honest to me about how she actually felt or thought of it, because I was under the impression that they were appreciative of my help when they were going through issues in their relationship. The biggest reason why I even chimed in at some point onward was because I know Lana’s tendencies that make it hard for her to do well with a new relationship, and I wanted those two to have the best chance possible. Something happened between Lana and I that made me feel like I didn’t want to be with her anymore, and when Veronica came into our lives and I got to know her myself I felt strongly for the first time that I could actually trust someone else with the person I cared so much about. Just cuz I broke up with her doesn’t mean she wasn’t gonna be the most important person to me so I really didn’t want their shit to fail. How can she even think this when I was on a path at that time of wanting to leave Lana’s life for good because I knew it was going to hurt me and because I had other ambitions I wanted to do in life. I’m basically being punished here for doing what I thought was right at the time. And it’s being done to me by someone I made big sacrifices for and tried to go so far out of my way to help them out of their situation so this is really REALLY hurtful.”

“And also, by the time her and Veronica broke up her and I started going in that direction again on and off and we tried to get back together, hence those logs on Feb which Nick stole off her phone it seems like. Your logs are private messages between two parties that gave no consent for it to be shared or used in any way. Nick stole them from Lana’s phone. What’s sad is we gave him all the hospitality in the world, for free. You’re publishing something that hurts people who were trying to do the right thing, just cuz you have their private lives in and their dirty laundry that everyone else has.”

And no, you’re not allowed to use what you asked for from here into your blasphemous “piece”. Go write something that’s factual, then maybe I can support it.”

I let Terence know that I was going to post their responses. This was after they accused me of simultaneously using “a fake screenshot” that was also “stolen info.”

They told me “good luck.”